5 Questions to Help You Live a Focused 2021

I started 2020 with the greatest hope and anticipation. I rang in the New Year with a new boyfriend. I had thought ahead and planned out some good, intentional goals. I was developing projects to grow in my writing skills and creativity. Then a global pandemic hit. Everything I had plotted out and was ready to tackle very quickly changed.
Now, as 2020 winds down, my world looks much different than it did a year ago. I am watching my dad slowly die of a rare neurological disease. The writing project I hoped would turn into a book deal was denied. I broke up with a man who turned out to be emotionally unavailable and am putting myself out there in online dating yet again.
And all those goals I imagined for myself? Well, let's just say the year went very differently from how I imagined it twelve months ago.
Maybe your 2020 was a year of flourishing and personal growth. Perhaps you had breakthroughs on some of your goals, dreams, or creative pursuits. But maybe this year was hard and lonely, as it was for many of us in the human family.
Regardless of what our last twelve months looked or felt like, here are five questions to help you think, reflect, and look ahead to a focused 2021.
1. What worked well ( and did not work) for me in the last year?2.What new things did I learn about myself?3. How have I personally grown?4. What resources helped me grow?5. What do I want to do differently in 2021?

Read more about each of these questions at Verily . . .

2020 may not have been the year any of us imagined, but that does not mean it was all a waste. If we take time to reflect and look at all we learned from this year, it can help us live with more focus and intention as we head into 2021.

Sending each of you light, love, and peace as you begin 2021!

The Power of a Woman's Story

There is something powerful and beautiful about a well-told story. Some of my favorite memories as a little girl were listening to the stories of my grandmothers, aunts, and mom. What experiences formed and shaped them, how they became the women they are today; questions like these always left me wanting to learn more from and about the women I most admire and looked up to in my own life.
Enter the documentary The Girl Inside.
This new mini documentary gives viewers a heart-wrenching and heart-warming glimpse into the lives of a group of women awaiting sentencing at Cook County Jail in Chicago, the largest single-site jail in the United States. Through these women's stories, filmmaker Kate Bryan, in partnership with production company BEHOLD, expands on a theme of Bryan's 1 Girl Revolution podcasts: the truth that every can make a difference with her life.
Sadly, the voices of incarcerated women are often overlooked or not considered as valuable or important. With the numbers of incarcerated skyrocketing in the United States - the population of incarcerated women has increased by more than 700 percent over the past 40 years - there is a desperate need to educate, empower, and help women heal in the prison system.
The documentary follows incarcerated women as they participate in a life-changing academic course taught by Dr. Laura Biagi, an interdisciplinary voice artist and teacher whose work focuses on teaching others to use their voice for personal and social change. Through "Storytelling as a Healign Art" class, the students learned about the power of every person's voice and then Dr. Biagi led the women through a series of storytelling exercises and vocal warmups.
The culmination of the course and documentary comes when Dr. Biagi gives the women a writing prompt, "I am your voice, and this is what I want you to know . . ."
The vulnerability, hope, and empowerment these women share by their own voices and stories is transformative and beautiful to behold.

Read the rest over at Verily . . .

Jesus, Help Me Be a Good Simon

I recently shared that my Dad is dying. Our family is navigating the painful reality of watching my Dad slowly decline of a disease similar to ALS.
For the last few months, my siblings and I take turns helping care for my Dad on the days my Mom is working. It is equal parts sacred and sad.
Several weeks ago, I began to pray a short prayer as I drove to my folks house on the days I would help care for Dad.

Jesus, help me be a good Simon.


Simon of Cyrene, the man we know little to nothing about from Scripture. We know he was in Jerusalem for the celebration of Passover. We know he was with his two sons Rufus and Alexander. We know he was chosen at random, an innocent bystander, to help Jesus carry his cross on the way to Calvary.
A man we do not know much about, and yet, he played such an important role in the final hours f the life of Jesus.
I have thought a lot of about Simon over the last few months as Dad's health declines and he is able to do less and less for himself. 
In what is hard, painful, and scary in watching my Dad suffer, I can ask Jesus to help me be a good Simon to my Dad during his own passion and suffering.

I am Simon when I help my Dad wash his beard and hair because he struggles with bathing himself more. I am Simon when make sure Dad has all his medicines and daily pills.I am Simon when I validate his feelings and emotions when he is struggling and feeling overwhelmed.I am Simon when I help Dad get up from his chair, pick him up from PT, or help him put on his compression socks.
I am Simon whenever I show up to be with Dad in his physical and spiritual suffering.


Jesus, help me be a good Simon.


I don't when or what propelled me to start praying this prayer on my way to go visit or help care for my Dad. However, it just seems to fit.

Like Simon, I have no control over the situation regarding my Dad's health and rapid decline. Simon had little say in the matter of being pressed into service carrying the cross for Jesus.
Yet it was in this random chance surprise of encountering the suffering Christ, I like to think Simon was radically changed by helping Jesus carry the cross.
Similarly, I believe that I am being changed by being a Simon of Cyrene to my Dad in his own suffering.
While this is sad and hard at times, it is also beautiful and sacred.

Walking this journey of suffering and death with my Dad reminds me how little control I have of the situations around me and outside of my own experience.Even though some days it is scary and overwhelming, I know God is near and present.

So no matter how long the time is left I have with my Dad, the prayer most frequently on my lips is, Jesus help me be a good Simon.

Hard Yet Holy: A Corona Thanksgiving & Other Life Updates

2020 has been a hard, heavy not just for some, but in many ways, for all of us.
I have been feeling the impact of some heavy things in my own life over the last few months.
Even though I have very frankly told Jesus I cannot handle one more heavy hit in my life, I know something sacred is going on. Life can be hard, yet holy.


My Dad is dying. Our family is celebrating our last set of holidays with him this year.In July, he was diagnosed with a rare neurological disease similar to ALS. Since then, his health and physical abilities continue to decline. We know it will only get worse from here.My siblings and I each take turns working remotely on days my mom works so my Dad will have someone to help care for him.

It is both devastating and sacred, sad yet holy. Please prayer for my Dad (his name is Deacon Kevin Breen) and our family as we walk this road of suffering and pain with him. 

I am grieving the loss of my Dad as I know him but also the losses which I will experience after he is gone. He will never see me get remarried someday. He will never baptize anymore of his grandchildren or meet any of my babies. 
I am so grateful for the time we are savoring and soaking up as a family as I balance caring for my own emotional and spiritual health during this difficult time.

Hard yet holy.

About five weeks ago, I broke up with my boyfriend. Looking back, I made the best decision for myself in true peace and freedom. I think in all honesty, I saw it coming on certain levels. We ended things amicably, but in the end, there were certain things I began to realize and experience that would not be good for me longterm.
I am getting back into dating (whatever that looks like during a pandemic!?) in a way that feels healthy and empowering for me. I have been on a few dates including two over Zoom, which actually were more fun than I anticipated. 
I know what I want and need in a relationship. I know what I deserve, am worth, and am not willing to put up with. Jesus, can we please have three times be the charm meet the right man for me? You cool with that? Thanks.

Hard yet holy.

A writing project I was hoping would turn into a book deal with a well known Catholic publisher was denied. It was such a disappointment to receive, but I do believe the writing samples I have are a story that needs to be told. Just because this publisher did not want it, does not mean it will never be published.


Because these holidays will be our last with my Dad, all the more reason we safely and carefully got together. It was a special yet bittersweet day. We enjoyed a delicious meal. My BIL made a bonfire outside and we opened the door so my Dad could enjoy it all bundled up. We enjoyed our family tradition of watching Die Hard with our dessert.

There were hard, painful moments, but also moments of laughter and joy together. The day after Thanksgiving my brother, sister and nephew, and I came over to help my parents put up their tree and decorate for Christmas.

No matter how hard the holidays will be this year, I am so grateful we have them this year.

Hard yet holy.

Work is well and I am excited how our RCIA program is going so far. I am looking for some new opportunities to freelance write but nothing new has turned up yet. 

I am honestly not looking forward to Advent and Christmas this year. I feel frustrated and sad when Advent is all about waiting for the coming of Jesus, and what am I waiting for? Well, I am waiting for my Dad to die. 
I had this thought earlier today: Advent could still be a sacred time, even I don't really like or feel close to Jesus right now.There is something there but I am not sure yet what it is.

Hard yet holy.


Maybe there are parts of your life that feel hard and heavy. 
I have a lot of feelings these days on lots of different things. 
But even the hard is holy.

A Letter to Catholic Singles During the Holidays

Hi there, friend.
I wish I knew your first name so that I could ask you how you are genuinely doing. I wish we were having an in-person conversation together, sharing our hearts over some good food or drinks, perhaps tucked away in a cozy corner of a restaurant.
I do not know why you find yourself single right now. Maybe you are slowly dipping your toes in the online dating world after losing your spouse or having your previous marriage declared null and void. Maybe you are trying CatholicMatch because all the blind dates seem to go nowhere or a friend suggested you give it a try. Maybe you know you are called to marriage but are frustrated that you are not finding the right person to share your life with.
Regardless of why life finds you single right now, it is not an easy time to be single around the holidays.
I know being single around this time of year can be most difficult and lonely from time to time. A time filled with such joy and celebration can feel lackluster when you do not have someone to share those moments with. I know I have felt that way since my own divorce, navigating dating again, being in serious relationships, and being single again.
Perhaps like me you desire to be married or know your vocation is marriage. Yet for whatever reason the circumstances of life have not led you to find that man or woman with whom you want to spend your life. That can feel equal parts frustrating, lonely, or confusing.

As we approach another holiday season, I want to leave you with some encouragement and hope. I want to speak truth into your heart and mind, even thought your feelings may feel a little bit all over the place.
Here is what I know is true about our God. The desire to share your life with someone is a good thing; both on an individual and collective level. God is present in our desires and He will move and act on them for our benefit. It may not be on our timeframe or even the way we want, but the desires of your heart matter to God. He sees them. He understands them.
I do not know why life finds you navigating another holiday season alone.
I do not know why my life has gone so differently than I imagined or why at 35 I have not yet found someone to share my life with. Even when it is hard, lonely or scary, I am choosing to cling to a promise that deep down in my soul I know is true.
Jesus is faithful. Jesus is kind. I am not forgotten by my God. My desires and hope matter to Him. I can trust in the slow work of God.

Read the rest over at the CatholicMatch Institute . . . 

Annulment Post Roundup

By this point, you know one of my passions when it comes to ministry is working to create better support and resources for divorced and civilly remarried Catholics.
Lately, I have done several podcast interviews on the topic as well as have some writing published on this and other similar topics.
Today I thought I would create a roundup post on the topics of divorce and annulment as a Catholic. Maybe it will be helpful for you or someone you know.

Online Articles:
Today I had a piece published with Grotto Network on what to know about getting an annulment after divorce.I also have a few other articles on Grotto that may be of help or interest: How to rebuild after divorce and 4 resources to turn to after a divorce.

I write regularly on CatholicMatch and here are a few recent articles I have written over the last few months, more specifically on annulments: debunking 3 myths of the annulment process, what should I do if my marriage was annulled?, and why you really need that annulment.

Podcasts:
My friend Alissa invited me on her new podcast, Universal Voices, to talk about my heart for divorced and civilly remarried Catholics. Oh and I also talk about my deep love for Bruce Springsteen.
My online and IRL friend Rakhi had me on her podcast about a month ago to talk about the lessons I have learned from my divorce and the beauty of boundaries.

Next week, October 20th from 3:00-4:00pm (eastern) I am doing a webinar at Ave Maria Press and presenting on what the Church needs to do better to support divorced Catholics.
I am excited and a bit nervous for this webinar. I am told I will be presenting to hundreds of people. I hope you will join us or share with people you think may be interested.

Thank you for supporting my work and encouraging me!

What Three Rom Com's Teach Us About Healthy Relationships

Who loves a good movie!?
Personally, I am a fan of the old classics when it comes to cinema. I grew up on Westerns and WWII movies with my dad. My mom introduced me to musicals, the wonderful world of Alfred Hitchcock, and romantic love stories with some of the greatest leading men and women.
What I love about movies, even ones not necessarily religious or faith-based, is that they still have powerful themes that speak to the depths of the human spirit. I love a powerful, well told story! Story lines with redemption, heroism, and the triumph of good over evil. Movies can convey deep messages that resonate with the human spirit.

I don't know about you, but the last few months of the pandemic have felt both overwhelming and exhausting at times. There are days it has been difficult for me to stay focused and living in the present moment. 
So let's take a lighter, more fun approach to movies today...
What can some of our favorite Romantic Comedies Teach Us About Healthy Relationships?
Well a lot, actually.Don't blow me off here.
I promise you there are lessons to be learned!
Let's dive in and take a look at some popular rom-coms and see what they can teach us when it comes to dating and healthy relationships.

More specifically, let's take a look at the movies You've Got Mail, Return to Me, and While You Were Sleeping.

Head over to CatholicMatch to read more  . . . 


What other rom coms do you think have lessons to teach us about dating and healthy relationships?Is there anything else that is missing?
I would love to hear your thoughts! :)

Tips for Finding the Right Therapist

By now, many of us know that going to therapy is a great option for dealing with particular mental health issues, getting through difficult life situations, or generally helping us toward a happier, healthier outlook on life. However, we might not realize that not all therapy is created equal. Finding the right therapist for you can help you get to the root issues that might be recurring in your life and disturbing your peace.
I have learned this in my own life: I had seen a therapist on and off since college. I struggled with generalized anxiety, exacerbated by particular life situations from time to time. This anxiety included intrusive, obsessive thought patterns and feeling anxious in friendships and relationships. I would go for a time to various therapists, but nothing ever really seemed to change. 
I never really got to the root cause of what kept bringing me back to counseling over the years. I learned coping tools and skills, but never got down to the foundational issues and things I needed to work through.
In the winter of 2013, I found myself in a suddenly unstable marriage. I needed to dig deeper into my own issues to help myself resolve the dysfunctional situation I currently found myself in. As I began to recognize that I didn't want to face this alone, I joined a 12-step support group for wives who found themselves facing the same thing I was facing in my marriage. You see, I was in a relationship that wa rampant with multiple addictions. While I knew I needed tools to help me navigate this, I also knew I needed to work on my own baggage. 
Knowing I needed to do my own therapy work, I asked the women in my support group for recommendations for good therapists, and interestingly enough, several of the women went to the same therapist. It was this therapist, Mary, who helped me get to the foundational issues I was dealing with. She helped me heal and change in ways I never knew I needed, and to this day I am a better woman because of her.
Finding a good therapist often takes trial and error. It's often like dating: it takes time, and there is a period of getting to know and trust each other. You might find the right fit right away, or it might take a few different people before you find the one you "click" with.
In my own life, it was definitely a journey and process before I found someone who was the right fit for me. From that experience and talking with other friends looking for a good therapist, there are a few helpful things to keep in mind on your own search.

Read the rest over at Verily  . . .

Freshly 35.

Birthdays were always a special part of growing up in my family.
I love to celebrate the birthdays of those I love, but equally love it when friends and family remember me on my special day.
Over the years, I written a birthday post here and there,
Beginning a new decade at 30.
31.  The first birthday after my divorce.
32, which somehow I skipped? LOL.
33. The one where I went to London.
34. A year that was filled with adventure, insight, and a lot of personal growth.

When I turned 35 on September 9, it was a wonderful and special first day of another new year.
I started the day off with the woman who had a date with me 35 years ago in the hospital, my mom.

We met for coffee at my favorite local coffee shop.
I went home to exercise and putter around my apartment. I was showered with texts and phone calls throughout the day from lots of my friends. Both my brother and sister/BIL/nephew had fresh flowers delivered to my apartment.
Another friend sent me a video of her three kiddos singing to me.
Jeff came by and we celebrated in the evening. He took us shoe shopping (what can I say, we both love shoes!? :) and bought me some special gifts. We went to dinner where we had our first date almost a year ago. 

This past year has been filled with many wonderful surprises, growth opportunities, and ways to be stretched in more ways than one (hello pandemic!).
I am grateful for the life I am living right now and all the people in my life to share it with.
We will see what year 35 holds for me. I have to keep reminding myself to not control, lean back, and stay open to receive from God.
Alrighty then 35, let's see what you have in store for me! 

Summer 2020 > Winter 2020

Well hello there! Gosh it's been awhile.
I don't know about you but I have been using social media less frequently these past few months. It's felt refreshing, but I know I've lost a bit of motivation to develop this little space and write more here.
Here is an attempt to get back into the swing of things.


The pandemic has affected life in lots of different ways, but I am grateful life is resuming with more ease and familiarity. I have been going back to Mass and enjoyed connecting with friends in-person as resturaunt began to open up a few months ago.
I will say this much, summer 2020 has been a lot better than winter 2020.
Here is a recap of what I have been up to these last few months.
In June, I went to Illinois and visited my dear friend Christina (and finally met Lauren!). We laughed hard, stayed up late, and I was overjoyed when Christina asked me to be the godmother for baby Lucy. I am so excited to head down there this weekend for her baptism, see some people I love so much, and have Jeff meet some more of my friends.

Back in March Jeff and I were supposed to go on a trip to the Grand Canyon together. Unfortunately, COVID-19 came to Michigan and very quickly things changed and we felt it was better to not go. In June, we used our airline credit to fly to Colorado. 
As a Midwestern girl, I have never seen mountains before. To say I was thrilled when I saw the Rocky Mountains was an understatement. We ate good food, went off roading in the rented Jeep, and enjoyed the beauty of nature surrounding us.

Later in June, Jeff surprised me with a trip to Ludington over the Fourth of July weekend where we camped overnight on the beach at Lake Michigan. We ate roasted chicken and drank gin and tonics, swam in the lake watching fireworks, and fell asleep under the stars.
My mom and I went to a lavender farm and our family celebrated all the family birthdays we missed during quarantine times. 

In July and August, Jeff and I took turns planning some surprise adventures for each other. I took him to the Cross in the Woods Shrine in Indian River and we stayed in Harbor Springs, MI.He planned another weekend for us in Harbor Springs.We've decided we're easily becoming Harbor Springs people.

Over Labor Day, Jeff took us on another adventure to the Upper Peninsula and we stayed in the small but charming town of Grand Marais. We could hear the church bells every hour from the local Catholic church in town from our room. The whitefish was amazing, star gazing incredible, and loved the beauty of Lake Superior and Pictured Rocks.

On the way home we extended our trip and drove to Manitowoc, WI and took a car ferry back to Ludington, MI and then drove home late. A fun, relaxing end to the summer.

Work has been good and I am grateful for things starting to pick up a bit more. I have been working on some writing projects and have been featured on a few different podcasts, which has been fun.
On September 9, I turned 35 (more on that in an upcoming post). It was a wonderful day and I felt so loved and special from all my family, friends, and Jeff.

How has your summer been?! What is new, exciting, or special in your life?

4 Resources to Turn to After a Divorce

I try to allow this little space where I can openly share and be vulnerable about topics sometimes we do not talk about.
I share on here frequently about my experience of divorce as a young Catholic and dating.
Today I want to share a post with you on helpful resources if you or someone in your life is navigating the pain of a divorce.
If this applies to your life, I hope you are encouraged and feel less alone.-----------------------
I was 30 years old when I went through my divorce.
I remember one particular Sunday when I was having a rough day. I felt overwhelmed by my feelings of sadness and fear how life would ever be beautiful again. I just wanted someone to see the pain in my eyes and reach out to me. I remember going to church - I just put my head on the pew in front of me and began to weep.
I wanted my Church to support me in what was the most painful experience of my life.

Honestly, there were times I felt forgotten and not cared for as a young Catholic going through a divorce.
Where would I find the resources to navigate this chapter in my life? Were there any support groups I could attend and find a community? What were the books to read that would both help me heal and take responsibility for my part in the marriage?
I am now four years past that chapter in my life and can offer some resources that I have found helpful in my own healing journey when I went through my divorce.
For me these things looked like finding a support group, reading the right books, going to counseling, and seeking to forgive my former husband.
You can read more about them over at Grotto Network . . .

You are not the only Catholic navigating this difficult path.
You are not alone and the Church is here to walk with and support you.

Rituals to Help You Savor the Morning Hours - Even if You're Not a Morning Person

What I love most about the early morning hours are the stillness and possibility of a new day. The early morning hours are when I feel most at peace and rest in myself. This is when I pray, read, write in my journal, or just sit in the silence with my morning cup of coffee.

I know that's not how everyone feels, though. There are some people who are wired more as night owls and genuinely do their best work while burning the midnight oil. But there are distinct advantages to rising early: you have more time to soak in the sunshine (and all that vitamin D), for example. Rising early also creates a space before work begins, so that you don't feel like you're getting up for work; it's just one part of your day.
If that sounds appealing to you, here are some tricks and early morning hacks to help ease your body into that transition. Even if you currently cringe when your morning alarm goes off, it is possible for you to become a morning person - chirping birds not included!

Get natural light right away.
Create a ritual you look forward to.
Practice waking up the same time every day.
Do not check your phone or computer for 30 minutes after waking up.
Have a wind-down routine before going to bed at night.

Head over to Verily to read more about these ways to savor the early morning hours  . . .

The Struggles of Going Through a Divorce While Young

After my divorce in 2016, there was no shortage of trying days in the immediate aftermath.
One particular day jogs my memory. It was Good Friday of 2016. 
At the time I was still working in youth ministry. I was helping during the Triduum with various tasks associated with the different liturgies.
One of my favorite parishioners, a sweet older woman named Joan came up to me. She knew me from when I was an altar server at my home parish, where she used to attend. I always saw her as my "church grandma".
With kindness in her eyes, she asked me, "Patty, are you okay? Where is that handsome husband of yours? I see something in your eyes and I just wonder - are you okay?"
I had to take a deep breath to choke back the tears which started to bubble up in my throat.
I reached out to give her a hug and softly whispered in her ear, "Well Joan, I am not married anymore to him. We got a divorce and I am navigating life in a different way right now."
She gave me the biggest bear hug that felt so reassuring to me.

Going through a divorce at any age is hard and difficult. I do not think people who find themselves in this situation ever dream or imagine it could happen to them.
I got married at twenty-six and by the time I was thirty, I was divorced.

What are some of the frustrating struggles of going through a divorce at a younger age?

For me, there were a handful of things that were especially difficult about navigating divorce as a young Catholic.

• Wondering if the hopes and dreams for marriage and a family would still happen someday.
• Fear about doing life on my own for the first time in life.
• Worry over financially providing for myself.
• How would I navigate dating again after my annulment?
• Wondering how I would learn to trust myself and trust men.
• How would I get through the lonely days and nights?
• How would I navigate the big feelings and emotions that would come as the weeks passed?
• Would people in the Church criticize or judge me and the choice I made?
• How would I thrive and not just survive?

There are plenty more I could include. Perhaps you relate to some of these or if you know someone who would feel a similar way.

No matter the struggles you bump into as a young Catholic navigating a divorce, do this one thing  . . .

Surround yourself with people who carry hope for you.

Fill your life with people who will carry hope for you: about your future, the dreams you have for your life, etc. Ask family members to remind you of this promise on those messy, sad days that good things are coming. God has not - and will not - forgotten you.

Ask them to carry and hold on to hope for you when it feels impossible to believe or have hope yourself.

Yes there are struggles that will arise, but they do not have to wipe you out.

You can do this.

You are not the only person who is going through this situation.

You are not alone.

How to Kindly Turn Someone Down

(Today I am sharing a post I had published in the Fall. It is one of the best lessons I have learned when it comes to healthy dating and felt too good to not share with you.

I hope it encourages you if you're navigating online dating as a Catholic right now).

Newsflash.

No one likes feeling rejected. Being turned down for a date is not fun at all. It if often uncomfortable and messy for both men and women.

I have had a string of lots of first dates lately where I did not feel comfortable being open to second date (for a variety of reasons). Something that was in common with all those dates was how I kindly yet honestly let them know I was not interested in a future date.

May I be honest for a second?

I know none of us like doing this, but we have to be able to say "no thank you" with honesty and authenticity. Playing games, ghosting, being manipulative, or just avoiding doing the uncomfortable thing is not kind and to be frank, is just plain mean.

Regardless if you are not interested in getting to know someone further, there is a kind way to turn someone down for a date. What I am going to share with you is something I have started doing, and I find it to be helpful.

One of my close girlfriends is also in the same stage of life as myself, and together, we are navigating the waters of online dating as Catholics. She has done a lot of growth work with online dating coaches. In addition to what she is learning, she shares it with me. As I apply it to my dating journey, I find myself trusting myself more, noticing red flags quicker, and really learning how just being my authentic self will attract a good man into my life.

One of the best things I have learned from my friend is how to kindly turn down a man for a future date.

The secret formula?

Two compliments wrapped around a similar-type statement, "My intuition is telling me we are not the right romantic fit."

Read more about this handy sound bite over at Catholic Match  . . .

Power Up Your Morning Coffee with Superfoods!

My favorite time of the day is the early morning hours. It is full of such promise and opportunity for what the day will bring - especially making my morning coffee. I grind my favorite beans. I choose a pretty mug from meaningful places where I have traveled or had adventures in life.
My morning routing is more than just a cup of coffee, it is an experience.

If you're a lover of coffee like me, you might be looking for ways to enhance your coffee and add some variety to the everyday - maybe you could try mixing it up with various super foods. With a little boost, your morning cup could actually provide many health benefits.
Here are some of the boosts that I have been using in my coffee, to give you some inspiration for perking up your morning brew:

• Collagen 
• Coconut Oil
• Cinnamon
• Ghee Butter
• Maca Powder

Read more about the power behind these superfoods over at Verily  . . .

The Prayer That Changed Everything

I have written a lot on how I used to wrestle with a spirituality of striving, of grasping. I used to think I had to be more or do more to please God.
The Examen changed all of that for me. It is the prayer that changed everything.
Before I began to incorporate the Examen into my daily prayer life, spirituality was about "doing" lots of holy things for God: going to weekly Adoration, attending extra daily Masses, reading spiritual books. I viewed these things as items to mark off my spiritual checklist. 
Prayed extra? Check. Spent more time in daily prayer than the day before yesterday? Check, check. Looked holy by doing all the things? Triple check. (I was especially good at this last one).
Living out of this yoke - this striving, grasping - kept me from seeing that a relationship with God is about being, not endless doing. It is continual and evolving.

Perhaps it is best described in the words of Etty Hillesum, a young Jewish woman who perished at Auschwitz: My life has become an uninterrupted dialogue with you, o my God.
As I read more books on Ignatian spirituality and practiced the Examen, I learned to encounter the presence of God through my experiences and emotions in daily life. I saw God in a new way: He wanted me to rest and just be more often. 
God saw my growing exhaustion and wanted to carry it for me. In time, I saw my relationship with God as not the burden that I had made it out to be but rather as an opportunity. I felt seen, known. I was relieved to discover that I could stop performing so much.
The Examen teaches us that God is found in the humdrum of daily life, through the ebb and flow of highs and lows, joys and sorrows. The presence of the living God can be experienced in our thoughts, emotions, feelings and desires; both the happy and uncomfortable ones.
Incorporating a daily Examen into my life helped me realize that truly living a spiritual life is about practicing the presence of God every moment of every day. I liken it to being a detective in your own life; you are becoming more aware of seeing where God is at work.
Read the rest over at the Jesuits . . .

Embracing a Healthier Relationship with Food and my Body

My relationship to food was a bit of a roller coaster through my teenage years and into my twenties.
Though I did lose weight through various diet programs like the Atkins Diet and low carb plans, after losing weight on a particular plan, I would swing back hard in the opposite direction and struggle with things like emotional eating or hoarding food. In college, I found Weight Watchers, marking a move in the direction of eating healthier as a lifestyle and not simply as a diet to change my body.
Even with moderate success following the principles of Weight Watchers, I still struggled with unhealthy attitudes toward food and my body from time to time. I still wrestled with the lie that some foods are bad, while others are good. If I just managed to avoid the bad foods for the rest of my life, I would be fine, I told myself, ignoring how unrealistic that was.

Fast forward to several months ago.
I was beginning to hit a brick wall with Weight Watchers. Some unhealthy food and mind patterns were coming up for me. I was not attending my weekly meetings and was beginning to use food as an emotional crutch from time to time.

Several people close to me had done Whole 30 before and raved about the health benefits; they also noticed the way Whole 30 changed their attitude toward food. A change in attitude sounded very appealing to me! Whole 30 is an elimination diet: for thirty days, you avoid sugar, alcohol, grains, legumes, soy, and dairy. You can meat, seafood, fruits and veggies, and most seasonings.
From May 1 - 30 of this year, I completed my first Whole 30. While I deeply missed my sweet treats and favorite coffee creamer, I have been amazed at how those weeks are beginning to change my relationship with food, for the better.

Read the rest over at Verily  . . .

Tips for Mental Well-Being When You Can't Get to Therapy

One of the greatest gifts I have been able to give myself in my late twenties and early thirties has been the gift of inner healing.
Throughout my early off-and-on relationship with therapy, I never felt like I was growing as a woman or working through my own baggage. But over the last five years, the therapist I see has helped me dig deep into my own story and do the healing work I have long needed to do.

Therapy is a gift I can give to myself and one for which I am incredibly grateful.
However, I am well aware that, for many women, the luxury of going to counseling is something that may not be feasible in their life for a variety of reasons (finances, insurance coverage, fear of what others will think).
While going to therapy is a wonderful avenue, there are still various tools you can use in your life to help you deal with stress, even if you're unable to go to counseling.

What do those things look like?

Knowing your triggers.
Reading reliable sources.
Practice diaphragmatic breathing.
Daily Gratitude.
Catching your ANTS.

You can read more about each of these suggestions over at Verily . . .