Hard Yet Holy: A Corona Thanksgiving & Other Life Updates

2020 has been a hard, heavy not just for some, but in many ways, for all of us.
I have been feeling the impact of some heavy things in my own life over the last few months.
Even though I have very frankly told Jesus I cannot handle one more heavy hit in my life, I know something sacred is going on. Life can be hard, yet holy.


My Dad is dying. Our family is celebrating our last set of holidays with him this year.In July, he was diagnosed with a rare neurological disease similar to ALS. Since then, his health and physical abilities continue to decline. We know it will only get worse from here.My siblings and I each take turns working remotely on days my mom works so my Dad will have someone to help care for him.

It is both devastating and sacred, sad yet holy. Please prayer for my Dad (his name is Deacon Kevin Breen) and our family as we walk this road of suffering and pain with him. 

I am grieving the loss of my Dad as I know him but also the losses which I will experience after he is gone. He will never see me get remarried someday. He will never baptize anymore of his grandchildren or meet any of my babies. 
I am so grateful for the time we are savoring and soaking up as a family as I balance caring for my own emotional and spiritual health during this difficult time.

Hard yet holy.

About five weeks ago, I broke up with my boyfriend. Looking back, I made the best decision for myself in true peace and freedom. I think in all honesty, I saw it coming on certain levels. We ended things amicably, but in the end, there were certain things I began to realize and experience that would not be good for me longterm.
I am getting back into dating (whatever that looks like during a pandemic!?) in a way that feels healthy and empowering for me. I have been on a few dates including two over Zoom, which actually were more fun than I anticipated. 
I know what I want and need in a relationship. I know what I deserve, am worth, and am not willing to put up with. Jesus, can we please have three times be the charm meet the right man for me? You cool with that? Thanks.

Hard yet holy.

A writing project I was hoping would turn into a book deal with a well known Catholic publisher was denied. It was such a disappointment to receive, but I do believe the writing samples I have are a story that needs to be told. Just because this publisher did not want it, does not mean it will never be published.


Because these holidays will be our last with my Dad, all the more reason we safely and carefully got together. It was a special yet bittersweet day. We enjoyed a delicious meal. My BIL made a bonfire outside and we opened the door so my Dad could enjoy it all bundled up. We enjoyed our family tradition of watching Die Hard with our dessert.

There were hard, painful moments, but also moments of laughter and joy together. The day after Thanksgiving my brother, sister and nephew, and I came over to help my parents put up their tree and decorate for Christmas.

No matter how hard the holidays will be this year, I am so grateful we have them this year.

Hard yet holy.

Work is well and I am excited how our RCIA program is going so far. I am looking for some new opportunities to freelance write but nothing new has turned up yet. 

I am honestly not looking forward to Advent and Christmas this year. I feel frustrated and sad when Advent is all about waiting for the coming of Jesus, and what am I waiting for? Well, I am waiting for my Dad to die. 
I had this thought earlier today: Advent could still be a sacred time, even I don't really like or feel close to Jesus right now.There is something there but I am not sure yet what it is.

Hard yet holy.


Maybe there are parts of your life that feel hard and heavy. 
I have a lot of feelings these days on lots of different things. 
But even the hard is holy.