26 May 2014

When recipes don't turn out Pinterest perfect

I have been married almost two years.  At our shower, we got a lot of cook books.  I think guests were secretly trying to send me a message.  Oddly enough I have never even cracked the binder on any of those gifts, and really looked to the online world of cook booking (Pinterest) to help me become Suzy Homemaker.

When I follow the recipe, its highly likely about 85% the dish will turn out well and there will be happy, full tummies at home.  However 15% of the time, there have been some special incidents where it felt like the glamour of Pinterest cooking failed me.

Lemon Blueberry Cheesecake Bars 1. Lemon Blueberry Cheesecake Bars
For Easter dinner, I was bringing a dessert and wanted to do something more fancy.  The flavor combo of lemon/blueberry was up my ally, not to mention cheesecake.  Need I say more?

The day before Easter I re-read the recipe several times and felt confidant it would turn out great.  Well once again I was reminded HOW closely one should really read the instructions.  The two packages of cream cheese needed to be room temperature.  Instead, I hastily mixed in semi-firm cream cheese.

After taking the bars out of the oven, they just looked weird.  Instead of that smooth, creamy looking cheesecake they looked more like curled cream cheese bars.  Thankfully, my stomach knows not ugly...but its definitely interesting explaining at Easter dinner that the dessert is "safe to eat".

2.  Healthy Banana Oatmeal Cookies
The "healthy" part should have tipped me off right away...I want to be healthy, but cookies I like better sweet and sugary.

I know I followed the recipe on this one, but when I took them out of the oven Jim told me the cookies looked like donkey turds.  Thanks dear, always free with the affirmations.
If that were the worst of it that would have been one thing, but the taste on these things was HORRIBLE. 
Like the horrible when you have to wipe your tongue down with paper napkins.  This one will never be a repeat.ever.

3. Frozen Banana Peanut Butter Ice Cream
I had really, really high hopes for this one...homemade ice cream with chocolate and peanut butter? yes.please.  I did use a blender instead of food processor, but I don't think that would make that big a difference, would it? Who knows....

Anyways back to the ice cream making.  I blended and added what I was supposed too and though I was doing good.  At all the blending the taste was kinda bland, but I had hope that maybe throwing it in the freezer would help.
The picture for the recipe on Pinterest looked like this...

And my final product looked like this...
After putting it in the freezer for an hour, I tasted it (hence the spoon markings).  

Obviously it tasted like banana but that was all; the cocoa and peanut butter didn't do much for flavor.  I tried to pawn some off on Jim the next morning for breakfast, but that didn't seem to work.  3 days later I forgotten about it in the freezer.  Currently I am thawing out this banana-poo-like-substance so I can have my cereal bowl back. 

What has been your biggest cooking failure so far?


  1. Oh my gosh! Aaron's favorite dish is carbonara pasta. For our first anniversary I tried to surprise him with it. The recipe called for a dash of nutmeg, I apparently was liberal with the dash. He said it was disgusting and all he could taste was the nutmeg and he STILL makes fun of me for it. That, and chicken noodle water...that was suppose to be soup, but I went boneless skinless and didn't add chicken bouillon cubes. Patty! It was so gross.

  2. Cookies in general have never been my strong suit. I think butter has a personal beef with me. :p
    Country Girl's Daybook: Jesus, Photography, Fashion, & Food

  3. Ha! I love this!! I remember one recipe in particular -- some sort of noodle mac & cheese thing. They recipe said I could either use a certain portion of cooked noodles, or a certain portion of uncooked noodles. So of course I used uncooked noodles (why would I cook them before if I really didn't need to?) The recipe came out and everything looked great, but the noodles weren't cooked at all! haha

  4. Keeping it real as usual, Patty. You made me laugh again! I'll reiterate Emily above and admit I made baked ziti with uncooked ziti thanks to my not reading the recipe closely. It was the same night in college me and my girlfriends also did not bake our brownies all the way. We called it the infamous 'raw' dinner. - Laura M. (The comm box isn't picking up my username :-( )

    1. Laura! I didn't realize you were blogging yet! :) Lol, thanks! Ohh I love me some good brownies, but definitely NOT raw ones.

  5. hahaha! I can't remember any particular cooking disasters...though I don't usually try anything too fancy and I'm not particular about looks. Although, just last week I was babysitting my cousin while baking cookies, left them in a little too long, and they were significantly crunchier than I would have liked...
    I've found some really good recipes online! And yeah, like you, I've probably used the web more than the cookbooks I was given...


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