It has been just over one year.
One year since the last time I saw my dad. One year since he took his last breath on this earth.
I was feeling a little restless and anxious as January 22 drew near.
There was a part of me that wanted the day to hurry up and pass by as quickly as possible. As if the death of my dad wasn't hard enough, there are other losses in life I am navigating and working through; those things made the loss of dad's presence feel even more profound.
While Saturday was a difficult day, I was so grateful to feel the love and support of many people in my life.
The day before, several women from my Bible study had sundae fixings delivered to my apartment so I could have a sweet treat to celebrate my dads feast day. Saturday morning my pastor offered the 9am Mass intention for the soul of my dad. As I drove home afterwards, he called me to check on me and see how I was doing.
I had many friends text me throughout the day; checking on me, letting me know there were praying for me, or sharing ways in their own life they were celebrating dads feast day. I even had an Instagram friend from Ireland offer Mass for my dad at her local cathedral in Ireland. She sent me a video clip of the priest praying for the soul of Deacon Kevin Breen on the first anniversary of his death.
My prayer buddy and soul sister Mave, texted me throughout the day and called on me to see how I was feeling. She was ever present to me on a hard day.
It was a real comfort to feel such love and support from so many people.
My siblings and I went to my moms house (it still feels weird to say that sometimes) for lunch and then went to the 5pm Mass at the parish we grew up at, where dad also served as the deacon. Do you ever have those times where going to Mass is the absolute last ting you want to do? This day was one of those for me.
I felt sad and disconnected from my heart; in some ways, just numb with grief. I cried through most of Mass, and left as quickly as I could afterwards. Driving home, I had a very frank and direct conversation with Jesus - in which I used a fair amount of four lettered words.Feeling sad and lonely, I was honest with Jesus about the day and other things on my mind.
I ended the day with a little too much ice cream (thanks Bible Babes!) and several hours of hanging out in Stars Hollow with the Gilmore girls.
I have great hope and confidence of where my dad is. I know he is more alive now than ever, and I am grateful he is not in physical pain or suffering. But I just wish I could have one more hug. I wish he would call me on the phone. I wish I could hear his laugh.
One of the most beautiful things I heard leading up to dads feast day, was something my girlfriend's mom shared with her growing up: the day a person is born and the day they die are the most powerful days to ask their intercession and prayers. If we have the hope and trust a person is with God in their eternal reward, it is their new job to advocate for us in Heaven.
So, Kate reminded me, it is my dads job to ADVOCATE on my behalf before the throne of God. Isn't that absolutely beautiful?
I took that to heart and especially on dads feast day, asked his prayers for some very particular intentions.
Life continues to move forward even when it is forever changed by something like death.
Dad -Wherever I am, you'll always be.More than just a memory...
So what has been going on this past year? Where I have been?
Well for starters, not really on here writing much.
Each year of the pandemic has been different. With it, has brought in new experiences; some wonderful and some harder than others.
January 22 is the first anniversary of dad's death. It is crazy to think a year has passed where I haven't been able to hear his voice or hug him. I believe and trust he is in the Joy of Heaven, but as the Christmas season drew closer, I felt the ache of missing him all the more.
Christmas was particularly hard for me this year. Namely, one of them dad being gone.
This year on January 22, I will attend Mass at my little parish where the priest will offer the Mass for dad's soul. Later in the afternoon, my siblings and I will go to my mom's house for lunch and then the 5pm Mass at the parish we grew up at, where dad served as the deacon for many years.
If could remember the soul of Deacon Kevin and my family on January 22, I would be so grateful.
I shared the exciting news about my new job. My little office is nicely set up in my bedroom, and I am really enjoying wearing my cozy Ugg slippers to work each day.
I started going to CrossFit last March and am still sticking with it. I love it so much more than I would and it feels amazing to see my body get stronger and what it is capable of doing. One of my goals for 2022 is to spend a month or two working one-on-one with a personal trainer.
In October I ran my third Detroit marathon. It wasn't my best race, but the weather was perfect and I had lots of people cheering me on.
One of the best surprises was beginning to date Joe last December. However, shortly after our one year anniversary and Christmas, we decided to stop dating each other. Honestly, I think I possibly saw it coming since the middle of the summer.
There was a lot of clarity and peace in the decision but I am sad things did not work out as I hoped. I loved both him and his three kids a lot. In the end, we both are in very different spaces. My heart is grieving right now, but I am proud of myself for not settling and trusting my heart through it all.
I signed up to lead a pilgrimage to the Holy Land with one of my best friends in September. I am so excited to go, I still cannot believe it is actually happening.
I started an LLC for my writing and speaking. I am excited to have some out of state speaking engagements over the next few months, and am hopeful this will lead to more opportunities.
As part of my LLC, I want to re-design this space here with a more professional website. As part of that, I am having a professional photo shoot this Saturday for new headshots. Who am I kidding, I am also absolutely doing it for new photos to use in online dating.
2021 was full of all kinds of things I didn't expect, some wonderful and some more difficult.
I am intrigued to see what 2022 holds for me. The word I picked for the year is STRENGTH, which I think will be teach me something in more ways than one.
I feel like the world is at my finger tips.
I am starting 2022 with some sadness and hurt, but am also brimming with hope and expectant faith.
I look forward to seeing you more around here these parts. :)
Do people even read blogs anymore?
(Patty awkwardly dusts this thing off).
It has been a very long time since I have shown up around these parts other than an occasional post of sharing some writing.
I have missed blogging, more than I thought. Even if a ton of people don't come here, I do really love having a creative space to write.
A lot has happened in the last year - more on that in an upcoming post.
One of the biggest changes most recently is I have started a new job. Actually, a brand new career in a direction I never imagined for myself.
After working in lay ministry for the Catholic Church for over a decade, I have made a transition into Catholic healthcare.
For the last two or three years, I have been restless in parish ministry and desiring a change. Since March, I have been actively looking, working on my resume, and going through interviews. The week before Thanksgiving I was offered a position at Ascension Health as a Ministry Formation Manager in the Michigan market.
To say I was excited is an understatement. When the woman in HR called to tell me I was chosen, I told her that someone needs to show me how to do a cartwheel - because I was that happy about it!
My role is connected to Mission Integration in growing and strengthening Catholic identity through offering meaningful and relevant spiritual formation to all associates within Ascension. I will also help develop and lead different formational retreats and work with volunteer mission teams at different hospitals within Ascension.
In more ways than one, this is the career move and job I have been waiting for. Everyone I have met has been so welcoming and I love the team I am on. I started on January 3 and my first week went really well. While it feels like I am drinking from a firehose, I know this is exactly where I supposed to be. It truly feels like God placed me in this new career, and I am so grateful for it.
Due to the pandemic, I am working remotely from home which is a transition but I know I will get my extrovert needs met in other ways. I have a cozy little work space set up in my bedroom.
I am looking forward to being "here" more this year. I am planning to finally transition to a permanent domain name and have my sister help me re-work my blog into a professional website.
There are lots of other things I want to share and write about here, but I will leave some of that for later.
What exciting things are starting off your new year so far?
I hope your 2022 is off to a bright and beautiful beginning!
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