The Mental Health Question Changing Me Right Now
What do I need right now?
This question is saving my life and keeping me sane these days.
At the end of December, my dad began in-home hospice care. Over the last few weeks, it became clear it was becoming too much for my mom to continue caring for my dad while working full-time. This past Saturday, he entered a hospice care center where he will spend his final days.
The last six months have been up and down. It has been difficult watching dad's physical abilities continue to decline. My siblings and I have been juggling caring for dad, being there for mom, and living our own lives.
Today I am sitting in dad's hospice room watching him sleep and using a syringe to give him juice and water to keep hydrated. His final days are upon us, and he is very near going to meet Jesus soon.
In the midst of this sadness, this one little question is helping me navigate the death of my father.
What do I need right now?
What I need is to make sure I am praying each day and connecting with the Divine spark inside my spirit.What I need is to allow my body rest or sleep in if I am tired. What I need is to make the time to move my body physically and exercise.What I need allow myself to feel and name the feelings and emotions that come up for me.
There is a lot of hard in life right now. However, continuing to ask this question each day (sometimes multiple times a day!) helps me take care of myself and focus on what is the next right thing I can do for myself.
What does the next right thing look like right now?What do I need right now, in this moment?
Over the last few years of going to therapy, I have learned how to really listen to my body and feelings to tell me what is going on inside of me. This question helps me know how best to care for myself in the moment.
This part of life is sad and hard right now. Yet, there are other parts of my life right now that are special and beautiful.
I know what the next few weeks will hold for our family. Life will change and look different, but it will not end.As I look ahead to dealing with the grief and loss of a parent, I will keep asking myself, "what do I need right now?"
Hard days are ahead, but I know I can get through them. I can do hard things and have done them before.
What do I need right now?
What do you need right now?
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Oh Patty, I am praying for you, your dad, your whole family. May God grant you all peace in this difficult time. Thank you for sharing this great reflection. I've found, through my last period of therapy and via my very wise husband, that things always go so much better when I stop, slow down, and think about what I need. I hope that you are able to get the rest that you need in the coming days, weeks, and months.
ReplyDeleteDear Patty, It is January 26 and I heard yesterday about your dad. My prayers go out to you and Annie and all your family. May God comfort you all during this time of grief. Amen. Rest In the Peace and Joy of the Lord, Deacon Kevin.
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