By now, many of us know that going to therapy is a great option for dealing with particular mental health issues, getting through difficult life situations, or generally helping us toward a happier, healthier outlook on life. However, we might not realize that not all therapy is created equal. Finding the right therapist for you can help you get to the root issues that might be recurring in your life and disturbing your peace.
I have learned this in my own life: I had seen a therapist on and off since college. I struggled with generalized anxiety, exacerbated by particular life situations from time to time. This anxiety included intrusive, obsessive thought patterns and feeling anxious in friendships and relationships. I would go for a time to various therapists, but nothing ever really seemed to change.
I never really got to the root cause of what kept bringing me back to counseling over the years. I learned coping tools and skills, but never got down to the foundational issues and things I needed to work through.
In the winter of 2013, I found myself in a suddenly unstable marriage. I needed to dig deeper into my own issues to help myself resolve the dysfunctional situation I currently found myself in. As I began to recognize that I didn't want to face this alone, I joined a 12-step support group for wives who found themselves facing the same thing I was facing in my marriage. You see, I was in a relationship that wa rampant with multiple addictions. While I knew I needed tools to help me navigate this, I also knew I needed to work on my own baggage.
Knowing I needed to do my own therapy work, I asked the women in my support group for recommendations for good therapists, and interestingly enough, several of the women went to the same therapist. It was this therapist, Mary, who helped me get to the foundational issues I was dealing with. She helped me heal and change in ways I never knew I needed, and to this day I am a better woman because of her.
Finding a good therapist often takes trial and error. It's often like dating: it takes time, and there is a period of getting to know and trust each other. You might find the right fit right away, or it might take a few different people before you find the one you "click" with.
In my own life, it was definitely a journey and process before I found someone who was the right fit for me. From that experience and talking with other friends looking for a good therapist, there are a few helpful things to keep in mind on your own search.
Read the rest over at Verily . . .
Birthdays were always a special part of growing up in my family.
I love to celebrate the birthdays of those I love, but equally love it when friends and family remember me on my special day.
Over the years, I written a birthday post here and there,
Beginning a new decade at 30.
31. The first birthday after my divorce.
32, which somehow I skipped? LOL.
33. The one where I went to London.
34. A year that was filled with adventure, insight, and a lot of personal growth.
When I turned 35 on September 9, it was a wonderful and special first day of another new year.
I started the day off with the woman who had a date with me 35 years ago in the hospital, my mom.
We met for coffee at my favorite local coffee shop.
I went home to exercise and putter around my apartment. I was showered with texts and phone calls throughout the day from lots of my friends. Both my brother and sister/BIL/nephew had fresh flowers delivered to my apartment.
Another friend sent me a video of her three kiddos singing to me.
Jeff came by and we celebrated in the evening. He took us shoe shopping (what can I say, we both love shoes!? :) and bought me some special gifts. We went to dinner where we had our first date almost a year ago.
This past year has been filled with many wonderful surprises, growth opportunities, and ways to be stretched in more ways than one (hello pandemic!).
I am grateful for the life I am living right now and all the people in my life to share it with.
We will see what year 35 holds for me. I have to keep reminding myself to not control, lean back, and stay open to receive from God.
Alrighty then 35, let's see what you have in store for me!
Well hello there! Gosh it's been awhile.
I don't know about you but I have been using social media less frequently these past few months. It's felt refreshing, but I know I've lost a bit of motivation to develop this little space and write more here.
Here is an attempt to get back into the swing of things.
The pandemic has affected life in lots of different ways, but I am grateful life is resuming with more ease and familiarity. I have been going back to Mass and enjoyed connecting with friends in-person as resturaunt began to open up a few months ago.
I will say this much, summer 2020 has been a lot better than winter 2020.
Here is a recap of what I have been up to these last few months.
In June, I went to Illinois and visited my dear friend Christina (and finally met Lauren!). We laughed hard, stayed up late, and I was overjoyed when Christina asked me to be the godmother for baby Lucy. I am so excited to head down there this weekend for her baptism, see some people I love so much, and have Jeff meet some more of my friends.
Back in March Jeff and I were supposed to go on a trip to the Grand Canyon together. Unfortunately, COVID-19 came to Michigan and very quickly things changed and we felt it was better to not go. In June, we used our airline credit to fly to Colorado.
As a Midwestern girl, I have never seen mountains before. To say I was thrilled when I saw the Rocky Mountains was an understatement. We ate good food, went off roading in the rented Jeep, and enjoyed the beauty of nature surrounding us.
Later in June, Jeff surprised me with a trip to Ludington over the Fourth of July weekend where we camped overnight on the beach at Lake Michigan. We ate roasted chicken and drank gin and tonics, swam in the lake watching fireworks, and fell asleep under the stars.
My mom and I went to a lavender farm and our family celebrated all the family birthdays we missed during quarantine times.
In July and August, Jeff and I took turns planning some surprise adventures for each other. I took him to the Cross in the Woods Shrine in Indian River and we stayed in Harbor Springs, MI.He planned another weekend for us in Harbor Springs.We've decided we're easily becoming Harbor Springs people.
Over Labor Day, Jeff took us on another adventure to the Upper Peninsula and we stayed in the small but charming town of Grand Marais. We could hear the church bells every hour from the local Catholic church in town from our room. The whitefish was amazing, star gazing incredible, and loved the beauty of Lake Superior and Pictured Rocks.
On the way home we extended our trip and drove to Manitowoc, WI and took a car ferry back to Ludington, MI and then drove home late. A fun, relaxing end to the summer.
Work has been good and I am grateful for things starting to pick up a bit more. I have been working on some writing projects and have been featured on a few different podcasts, which has been fun.
On September 9, I turned 35 (more on that in an upcoming post). It was a wonderful day and I felt so loved and special from all my family, friends, and Jeff.
How has your summer been?! What is new, exciting, or special in your life?
I try to allow this little space where I can openly share and be vulnerable about topics sometimes we do not talk about.
I share on here frequently about my experience of divorce as a young Catholic and dating.
Today I want to share a post with you on helpful resources if you or someone in your life is navigating the pain of a divorce.
If this applies to your life, I hope you are encouraged and feel less alone.-----------------------
I was 30 years old when I went through my divorce.
I remember one particular Sunday when I was having a rough day. I felt overwhelmed by my feelings of sadness and fear how life would ever be beautiful again. I just wanted someone to see the pain in my eyes and reach out to me. I remember going to church - I just put my head on the pew in front of me and began to weep.
I wanted my Church to support me in what was the most painful experience of my life.
Honestly, there were times I felt forgotten and not cared for as a young Catholic going through a divorce.
Where would I find the resources to navigate this chapter in my life? Were there any support groups I could attend and find a community? What were the books to read that would both help me heal and take responsibility for my part in the marriage?
I am now four years past that chapter in my life and can offer some resources that I have found helpful in my own healing journey when I went through my divorce.
For me these things looked like finding a support group, reading the right books, going to counseling, and seeking to forgive my former husband.
You can read more about them over at Grotto Network . . .
You are not the only Catholic navigating this difficult path.
You are not alone and the Church is here to walk with and support you.
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