Sometimes in life, you just don't "feel" like worshipping God, singing His praises, or whateves you call it.
Last night was a night like that for me.
I had a meeting at church. When I heard we were starting it with a bit of worship, I inwardly groaned. I just wasn't feeling it. I had a rough day and praising God was the last thing I had on my mind.
At some point in the second song, I decided to really worship (even though my heart felt contrary feelings). I forced myself to get out of my big feelings/emotions and focus on what is eternal, lasting. Sometimes in life we have to do things we don't want, but ultimately know are good for us. Deep down, though I know when I say "Jesus, I Trust in You" (even if I struggle with meaning it) or make myself count all the gifts in my life, there is transformative power in those actions.
It's like when I talk with young people who struggle with prayer or get frustrated when they don't "hear" God in their spiritual life. You have to keep going, not give up. If we lived our entire lives by how we felt, we'd be an emotional hot mess.
Last night I didn't feel worshipful, and I told God that. I brought it before Him, and acknowledged I would rather duke it out with Him in the parking lot or kick a hole in some dry wall complete with a few good swear words.
But I pushed through. I worshiped and praised even though it was the furthest thing I wanted to do. And I am glad I did.
Sometimes the things in life we would rather not do are some of the greatest opportunities to grow. And although it was just a few praise/worship songs, it reminded me once more how life is more than just feeling good.
Life doesn't always feel like a Chris Tomlin song. And that's okay.