The Lessons I Didn't Expect in Grad School

It only took me six years, but I finally finished graduate school.

Something I worked so long and hard for, it feels kind of weird to be all done with. Part of me wonders what I'll do with this extra time now that won't be dedicated to studying or paper writing. One thing the last six years have taught me are the surprising life lessons that came outside of the classroom.

 1. Learning to deal with difficult people

Most life I have spent trying to avoid tension and rocking the boat. If there were difficult people or situations I had to face, I did what most rational adults do; look the opposite direction and pretend they don't exist. Looking back over the last six years, there have certainly been plenty of situations where I have had to deal with difficult people. From unkind students to the professor who accused me of something I never actually did, I had had enough experiences that have given me practice at learning the right (and not so right ways) to deal with difficult folks. Learning about boundaries also has really helped me deal with the crazies in school I have encountered, but that's another story for another time.

2. Be okay with being alone

This may sound strange. When I say alone, I don't mean sitting off in a corner rocking back and forth in the fetal position, but be comfortable and confidant with yourself even if you have to sit alone or be yourself. I remember in high school if I ever would have had to sit by myself at lunch I would have died of embarrassment. The older I have gotten, I have learned part of healthiness is being okay with yourself, being alone in a healthy sense. 

I have had times where I ate alone or walked into a class where I didn't know anybody. And I learned to be okay with that. I can walk through life situations without having a bestie right at my side. For me, I have found most growth when I stretch myself to be comfortable and at peace even when I am alone or by myself.

3. Practice at humility

There have been several professors I have had who are very famous and well-known in the world of Catholicism. I was shocked in some their of classes to find these professors constantly act like they were the best thing since sliced bread. You'd think they had saved the Pope from quick sand or something! Seeing a fair amount of bragging and self-promotion reminded of the importance of true humility when working in ministry (or in any job but especially in ministry). It can be easy to think all the great, life-giving things that go well for ministry I serve in are because of wonderful me. Not so. Sure I can do awesome, beautiful things for the Kingdom, but it is only God working through me (humble and teachable) that these things succeed and bear fruit. Who would of thought braggy professors would remind of the importance of humility in my own life and work?

4. Faith grows through our own wrestling and searching

I used to think people asking questions and wrestling with their faith meant that they didn't trust God enough or believe in Him hard enough. Even though I have always been a believer, I am surprised over my time at seminary how many instances in class and even in my own personal life my wrestling with questions and searching for the truth led me to deeper, more mature faith in God.

5. Men and Women can be friends
Yes I know that can sound strange. Growing up I never really had any guy friends. Other than dating I guess I didn't really know how to be friends with guys unless. Then I went to graduate school at a seminary; which as a Catholic translates to studying mostly with guys studying to become priest's. Of course there were some strange bears who looked at women like they were she-devils trying to take away their priestly vocation (but those were few and far between). The experience of going to school at the seminary has shown and given me experience of what good, healthy relationships between men and women can look like.


Have you ever had an average, normal life circumstance end up teaching you important life lessons?
Or is that just me? ;-)