14 April 2015

Frozen, Boundaries, & Why I Am Not in Control

Sunday night is our weekly youth ministry meeting. This past week, I was searching for a good play list on Pandora. In the middle of my searching, the ever famous "Let It Go" from Frozen came on. 
So what did I do when a few teens complained?

Naturally I continued to belt it out even louder at the top of my lungs. 

As I was driving home that night, I found myself humming aloud the tune to that song. Sure its catchy and especially fun if you dance around, but I was struck how a popular song from a movie sums up life right now.


Most of my life, I have identified myself as a control freak. 

I don't necessarily do change well, especially unexpected change. I have had my life mapped and figured out since the time I was 10. So what happens when that perfect little plan does not go as expected? 

Well my past history has shown that I freak the freak out...sometimes way out. 
Life is teaching me right now you cannot live with every inch charted and graphed out, because when it doesn't go that way (which eventually always happens) you'll be shocked and sorely disappointed. I am learning in a lot ways I can only control me, Patty. 

I cannot control what others think about me or how they act...even though sometimes I wish I could. People fail and disappoint, no matter how hard I try I can never change or control that. 
I am a book nut. I have already read 15 books since the new year began. 

By far, perhaps the most life-changing one has been this little gem. Seriously. 

Get your hands on this book. In the last few months, I have become more aware than ever of my good girl-perfection-pleasing-esque ways. I wasted a lot of time in life trying always be the good girl, seek after perfection, and strive to never rock the boat with people in life. Newsflash. That's a draining and unfulfilling way to live life.
I have learned (and am still learning) living life with boundaries is a healthy way to do life. 

Boundaries are like fences; they keep out the crazy/bad/unhealthy BUT also prevent me from wandering into someone else's yard which I have no control over. Its a quite magical and freeing concept. I have had some good opportunities to practice boundaries with myself, my husband, friends or non-friends, and extended family.

Life with boundaries and less control? Feels like this.

Living life with healthy boundaries is reminding me that I am not in control of anyone or anything. I can control only me; my reactions, responses, and how I have healthy relationships with other people. Living my one life well and with intentionality is about more serenity and less control...more healthy relationships through boundaries and less crazy-making with nut-job people.

So the next time you find yourself belting out the words to "Let It Go,"remember you really have to let things go in life. 
Let go the things you cannot change, but seek the courage to change the things you can. 
And always pray for the wisdom to know the difference.

Where in your life do you need to let go of control? What about healthy boundaries? 


How can these tools help you in living a more intentional and joyful life?



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3 comments:

  1. Next time you're looking for a good Pandora station, check out Sister Hazel Radio. I don't even know who Sister Hazel is, but I visited an acquaintance once who was listening to this station and totally loved it. These days, I listen to it pretty often. It's a great balance of old and new, soulful, fun, spunky tunes. Love it.

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  2. I think this is such a needful realization for all of us, When we know we can't control life anyways, we stop feeling so anxious and are better able to hand over our perceived sense of control to God, who actually knows what He's doing.

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  3. I think I let go of most of my control long ago! There's not a lot that I have left...

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