One Little Word for 2017

I'm an extroverted, type A personality. I embrace being a loud laugher and love to talk.
For a period in my life, I was not good at.all. with silence, being still and quiet...with myself and even more so with God.
As I look ahead to the coming year, I always love to choose a word to keep grounded and focused; something to challenge me in the coming year.
Last year my word was cultivate. The year before that my word was serenity.
My word for 2017 is stillness.

Over the last few weeks several things in reading and prayer have come up that are showing me I need to cultivate more stillness in my life.
I find myself continuing to come back to these two passages in Scripture:

• Be still and know that I am God.  -Psalm 46:10
• The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be still.  -Exodus 14:14

In the last six months I have begun to carve out time day to start and end my day with silence and meditation. Deep breathing helps me focus and let go of the distractions running around in my brain. Slowly repeating a word or prayer helps me re-focus when my mind starts to chatter again.

Living on my own for the first time in my life, getting used to more silence is something new for me. But more and more, I am seeing how much I need it. How much my soul actually aches and craves it.

It is one thing to be still physically but a completely different thing to still your mind and spirit. And while I am growing in this area, I see how much more stillness I need in my life; relationship with myself, God, and others.

Life, relationships, and my mind can very quickly become noisy and fragmented. I am looking forward to more stillness in my life...more just being, instead of always doing.

Do you have a word to guide and inspire you for 2017? What does it mean to you?
Whatever your dreams, hopes, or goals are for 2017, remember that you can do hard things.

12 in 2016

I really love celebrating the New Year and looking back on the past year I lived. I know some people struggle with the whole resolution thing, but I thrive on it. 
I spend the last week of December looking over the past year and dreaming big for the upcoming one. I also love looking back at all the pictures I took over the past year, it reminds me what mattered to me.
My friend Bobbi is hosting a photo link-up in review of 2016, so here is the year in review in photo's!

In January I was a guest on this podcast! It was my first time ever doing that but it was super fun!

So at this point we are well into the Year of Mercy. I spent a lot of time thinking and praying on entering a season of mercy in my own life.

My friend shared this article with me that has really messed me up in a good way, it was a reality check for me in how to do ministry well....what ministry is all about.
I also went to the South for the first time in my life! I went to Atlanta for a weekend to help run a retreat with a girlfriend. I have since decided I need to do a road trip through the South and that the Midwest needs to get Chick-fil-A.

  April 3 I ran my second half marathon. It snowed the day before and was much colder than I anticipated, but super glad I did it. The crazy things people will do for free pizza and beer.
In April, my divorce was also finalized. I continue to be so grateful for all the crazy, wonderful ways God is leading me through this new phase in life.

In May one of the couples from the young adult group at church had their second baby baptized. Afterwards, there was a party a bunch of us young-ish adults went to. There was lots of laughter, good food, beautiful weather, and a growing sense in my spirit I can do this...I can be on my own:)

In June our parish staff went to an AMAZING conference (Divine Renovation) in Halifax Nova Scotia.  The conference was hosted by the the pastor, Fr. James Mallon of St. Benedict. He wrote a book called Divine Renovation explaining how he radically changed his parish from maintenance to mission mindset. It was exhausting, uplifting, and amazing all rolled into one! Minus crazzzyyyy flight delays on Air Canada of which I am still scarred by.

July busy with our annual youth conference at Franciscan University in Steubenville, Ohio. Or as I call it "Catholic Disney World."
And at the very end of July, I led a group of 12 pilgrims to World Youth Day in Poland.

We came home safe and sound from Poland. This was my 4th WYD. It was also the most difficult and spiritually life-changing one I ever experienced. While we were there, I got very sick and almost died. 

In September I turned 31. I had celebrated with sweet friends and my family took me out for a fancy dinner and drinks at a brewery.
I also got to attend a retreat with all of the beautiful women I work with in the women's ministry Blessed Is She. It.was.amazing. I always wanted a big sister, I just never knew I had so many.

In October I ran my 3rd half marathon. Running has become such an important part of my life, and a big part of my own healing. After this race, I decided next year I will run my first marathon! 

In November I got to participate in our Archdiocesan synod, which our local church has been preparing for for three years!  It was also really special because my Dad and my sister also participated in various ways. It was exhausting but so exciting to see the power of the Spirit radically re-shaping our archdiocese!
I also got my second tattoo! 
December
I don't have a picture for December, but I do have a VIDEO!!!! #spicingthingsup
Our youth ministry made a Christmas video for Pope Francis. I about died laughing and we had a ton of fun!


Be sure to head over to Bobbi's for the link-up!!!

Pope Francis' War on Christmas

The culture wars against Christmas rage onward.
People get upset over Starbucks cups or worked up over "Happy Holidays" vs. "Merry Christmas." 
Children are being slaughtered in Aleppo or dying from diarrhea because of drinking contaminated water. Women and young children are sold into slavery and used as sex slaves at alarming rates. Almost half of the world-almost 3 billion people-live on less than $2.50 a day. Countries treat war like a well-planned chess game instead of the horror and devastation it is for those affected by it.
Sorry, but I really don't think God cares about the stupid cultural "War on Christmas."
The real war on Christmas is indifference. The real war on Christmas is coldness of heart.
A week before Christmas I stumbled onto some strong words from the Holy Father on the charade of Christmas this year. I still find myself going back to them; wrestling and reflecting on what it means.

"It's all a charade. The world has not understood the way of peace. The whole world is at war." Francis continued, "A war can be justified, so to speak, with many, many reasons, but when all the world as it is today, at war, piecemeal though that war may be-a little here, a little there-there is no justification."
"The world continues to go to war. The world has not chosen a peaceful path. There are wars today everywhere, and hate," said Pope Francis. " We should ask for the grace to weep for this world, which does not recognize the path to peace. To weep for those who live for war and have the cynicism to deny it."
"God weeps; Jesus weeps."
There is no reading between the lines here, the message is clear.  Christmas that ignores suffering is not really Christmas. 
For Francis, Christmas is less about glad tidings of comfort and joy, and more about encountering and walking with those who are greatly afflicted by pain and suffering.  It is about accompanying people through whatever mess they are facing.
I think especially in the western world, it can be so easy to domesticate and sanitize Christmas. Sometimes I miss when I am doing it; it can happen so easily.
Christmas isn't pretty, shiny, and wrapped up perfectly with a big red bow.  Christmas is about brokenness, messiness. No one expected the Messiah to be born into poverty, obscurity, and exclusion, far away from power and wealth.
At Christmas, Jesus comes all the way down into messiness of human dysfunction-the violence, the sinfulness, the hatred, the racism, and the wars. This holiday, this holy day calls us out of comfort into discomfort. And facing each of those head-on can be uncomfortable.
The world today is blinded by all kinds of hate. Blinded by finding our security in nuclear weapons and war games. Blinded by our indifference, coldness of heart, and legalism.
I know I do not understand fully what it means to be a peacemaker as Jesus spoke about during his earthly ministry. I know I do not fully understand the pain or suffering of refugees, the imprisoned, black lives, migrant lives, and LGBT lives. 
The 12 days of Christmas are upon us. It is a time of celebrating and joy. But we (I) have to make room for weeping. 
Weeping with Jesus for what we have turned his world into. 
Weeping for my own indifference, whatever it looks like.
Weeping for my cold heart.
Weeping for the sins of our world.
Yes the whole world is at war. Our future President is perhaps calling for a nuclear arms race.  But the state of the world reflects the state of our own hearts in a lot of different ways.
I need to be honest with myself, with Jesus about the state of my own heart. When I am more loving and less indifferent, I think I become a little more of the person God wants me to become.
Let's stop getting worked up about coffee cups and the cashier at Kroger wishing you "Happy Holidays."
Let's look at our hearts and see where the have grown cold or indifferent.
Because that is the real war on Christmas.