23 October 2014

Dear Jennifer Lawrence...please don't justify porn.

Dear Jennifer Lawrence,

You and I are close to the same age. You were born in 90 and me in 85, we're both children of the 90's.  Where you a die hard fan of the Babysitter's Club as I was?? Just curious.
I think you're a very talented actress and simply cannot wait for the next movie of the Hunger Games series to come out. You sister, have some skills.

Let's cut to the chase, shall we? I am not here to judge you.
I only wish we could have this chat together over a warm cup of coffee in a friendly manner...but alas, I am typing away on the interwebs. I cannot imagine how difficult it has been for you; having your privacy violated in such a major way and I certainly wouldn't wish it on anyone. That's got to be awful.

But girl, I have to be honest with you. From woman to woman, I was really shocked and felt sad about what you were quoted saying in the Vanity Fair interview:

Now I do not know you personally or your boyfriend. And like I said, I REALLY am not in the business of judging folks.
But when I first read your interview, honestly my first reaction was that I felt sad for you.
Please let me explain.

My perception was that it seemed like you justified taking those pictures of yourself because really at the end of the day you would rather your boyfriend look at pictures like that of you vs. strange, naked women on the computer (aka porn).

That made me feel sad. NO woman on earth can compete with pornography, nor should she have to. And the thought struck me that maybe you felt like you had to take those pictures to keep your boyfriend from looking at porn.

I am not sure if you are aware how much of a disease porn addiction is. Its really not that hard to find out stats on its growing usage among adult men, woman, and even young children. It really is an epidemic in the modern world today, and it makes me sad to perceive you are justifying it.

You are a beautiful, talented woman! You have carved out a successful career for yourself at a young age, and that is a great accomplishment.
But it doesn't make a lot of sense (to me) that it sounds like you are justifying your actions because your boyfriend will look at porn anyway so I may as well send him photos of me to look at. I would ask you to consider that real, good men actually do not need porn.

 If you felt like you needed to send those pictures so your boyfriend would not look at porn, I would gently ask you to consider if that is really a good, honorable man to be with.  Looking at porn is not what makes a man "manly"...recognizing for the true lie that it is is what really makes a man.
Just because lots of people look at porn doesn't mean it is a healthy, good thing.
Actually it is the complete opposite.
It completely re-wires the brain and totally hi-jacks emotional intimacy.

I am aware it is HIGHLY likely you'll never read this...but if you should, I hope you take these comments as concerned thoughts from one woman to another...

Best wishes to you Jennifer.

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  1. Extremely, extremely well written. I had the same thoughts when I saw the quote. I hate for her that this whole thing happened because her privacy was very violated, but I wish she would have left that last sentence out.

  2. perfect. I have started using her quotes when I do retreats with young women. To show just how destructive the path to settling for less can be.

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