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16 October 2018

What a Broken Crucifix Teaches Me

We meet in the old convent basement. 

The couches don't match the faded pillows and the carpet is worn. It sometimes floods when a heavy rain comes and that musty basement smell hangs around.

This is where we meet on Thursday evenings for a divorce support group from now through January.

On the wall across from where I sit hangs a broken crucifix, literally.

I cannot help but find it to be rich of meaning, especially as I gather with a handful of other women going through a divorce.

One of Jesus' arms is busted clean off, while the remaining arm hangs on the cross.

It takes me back to a tearful conversation I had with my parents a few years ago.


I was still living with my parents as I waited for my divorce to be finalized.

It was one of those no-good, very awful days. I was a mess and hot tears ran down my face.

I wept over the loss of my marriage, wailing to my parents wondering in fear what would become of the new reality of my life: Would I always be alone? How could I trust men again? How would I make it financially on my own?

I was overwhelmed and afraid.

I distinctly remember crying and saying to my Dad (a deacon), "Dad where is Jesus in all of this? I don't feel His presence. The pain of it all feels like I am being nailed to a cross. Where is He?!"

My Dad, a very quiet man of faith, looked at me with tears in his eyes, his voice shaking said: "Well He's getting nailed to the cross next to you."

It made me stop and think.

I recall that conversation now as I gaze on a broken crucifix, helping to lead other women through their own pain and grief.

That broken crucifix is a reminder of the pain I was in at one time of my life, and how my Dad helped remind me to believe that Jesus was in it with me.

One the the things I most deeply love about Christianity is the humanity and divinity of Jesus Christ all rolled into one. Jesus knew the human experience in all things except sin.

He knew what it was to be afraid, anxious, angry, confused, joyful, depressed, and even silly. Jesus of all people knows what it is to suffer. And looking at that little broken crucifix is a gentle reminder of that to me.
My God understands and can relate to the pain in my life, in your life.


I easily forget about God's presence or faithfulness when life is all hunky dory. 

All too often, I take for granted the people or blessings in my life. I forget to thank God for all that I have, all that He has done in my life and how He has restored me.



Every Thursday evening, I glance up at the wall and look at Jesus. I smile, grateful for the reminder of His nearness in the most messy and painful experiences of our lives.

The next time your gaze lands on a crucifix in your home or church, linger there a little bit longer. Savor the image.

And remind yourself (especially when you don't believe it), that the presence of the living God is nearer than you realize.


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73 comments:

  1. Thank you for this post and for sharing your Dad's response. It touched my heart.

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  2. Hi Patty!

    Since this is an older post, I hope this comment reaches you. I just wanted to say I found you and your blog today. I want to say thank you for having the courage to tell your story. In college I was engaged to the wrong man and if it wasn't for some mysterious power of grace that helped us to end our relationship before marriage, my story would be your story as well. So much of it is similar. But your story just as it is gives me hope for women out there like us: those of us who have been in harmful relationships: that with mercy and grace we can become better women for it and help other women out. When I think of all the bad things I went through in that relationship, I am consoled to think of what wisdom I can share with my potential future daughters! And I hope my story (I ended up marrying a wonderful man) gives you hope too that your true husband is out there and he cannot wait to be married to you!

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    1. I JUST WANT TO SHARE WITH YOU ALL HOW I GOT FREED FROM MY ENEMY WHO WANTED TO FRUSTRATE ME, MY LIFE WAS FULL OF CHALLENGES, BUSINESS RUINED MARRIAGE BROKEN AND I WAS HATED BY MANY FOR NO JUST REASON , I ALMOST COMMITTED SUICIDE BECAUSE I COULDN'T TAKE IT BUT I THANK god TODAY THAT I HAVE FIND A SOLUTION TO ALL MY PROBLEMS AND MY LIFE HAS BEEN RE-BRANDED BY DR NOBLE. FEW WEEKS AGO I CONTACTED DR NOBLE AND EXPLAIN MY SITUATION TO HIM AND HE TOLD ME I WAS UNDER ATTACK BY MY ELDER BROTHER WHO IS JEALOUS THAT I AM MORE SUCCESSFUL THAN HIM AND SO HE IS DOING EVERYTHING POSSIBLE TO DESTROY ME, DR NOBLE HELPED ME TO REMOVE ALL THE EVIL MY BROTHER CAST ON ME AND RETURNED THEM BACK TO HIM AND NOW THE CASE HAVE TURN AROUND. THANKS DR NOBLE FOR COMING TO MY RESCUE. CONTACT DR NOBLE TO HELP YOU FIX ANY CHALLENGES IN YOUR LIFE OR MARRIAGE via WHATSAPP +2349059610643 EMAIL NOBLESPELLHOME@ GMAIL. COM

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  19. I have been thinking about this very Kwale Temple love spell for the past couple of days. What Mariah shared is confirmation to me. And yes I am accountable too, and I am working on my issues. But I have realized I can’t make my husband come back, I can’t even make him want to change his mind to come back to me. I then contacted Dr Kwale via the email Mariah shared and truly I was able to get my husband back to my arms with Kwale Temple spell. Email Dr Kwale now at kwaletemple@gmail.com or Whats-App him on +2348056141089. Thanks for being open Mariah, it is helpful!

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