Sometimes the most fun adventures in life are when you are open and just show up to live life.
It may sound silly, but I love to celebrate the little victories in my own journey of self-awareness and growth.
The last Saturday of June was an opportunity where I was brave and showed up.
My dear friend Sarah was getting married in Cleveland. I went to the wedding without a date/significant other and literally only knew the bride. Even as a loud-mouthed extrovert, I felt a little nervous.
The wedding was beautiful in charming old church and Sarah was stunning.
After the Mass, I made my way to reception venue over looking the water in downtown Cleveland. During the cocktail hour, I confidently walked around and eventually started chatting with a group friends who used to be roommates with the bride.
We laughed and made small talk over tasty drinks and appetizers.
Our mutual friend, the bride, made her way over to chat and we snapped some pictures.
Eventually it came time to take our seats for dinner. I sat with the most fun group of married couples and singles who knew the bride from college days at John Carroll University.
It was fabulous! We laughed and talked about all the topics you are not supposed to talk about at weddings or family parties, religion and politics. I laughed so hard and met some wonderful people.
After the official wedding dances, it came time to the DJ to turn down the lights and pump up the music. I was ready to get my dance on.
Now I love to dance, but I have never had so MUCH fun dancing at wedding. I tore up the floor the whole night and only walked off to use the bathroom once or get hydrated with some water.
I danced my first polka and a few guys asked me to dance on several occasions.
I felt happy, excited, confident, and comfortable just being me...even if I did not have a date.
I cannot remember a time as an adult I had such a wonderful time at a wedding reception.
As I drove home the next morning, I spent some time reflecting and praying in the car.
I felt brave by just showing up and being open to the experience. That openness led to a wonderful, fun evening.
Sometimes we have to celebrate and own the little wins of our daily lives.
Maybe for you it looks different than going to a wedding not knowing a soul or without a date.
It may sound silly to you, but this felt like one of the bravest, most bad ass things a single woman could do.
I am proud of myself. I left thinking and reminding myself I can do scary things in life.
Show up to live your life.
Be open.
You might surprise yourself and learn that sometimes the bravest thing to do is something you were not expecting.
I have a wonderful spiritual director.
She was a professor I had several times in graduate school. Since those days, we have stayed in contact and continues to be a good sounding board for me in different areas of life. She challenges me spiritually but always speaks truth and affirmation into my life, especially when I need it most.
Recently we met in her office, drinking mugs of tea while sitting in cozy arm chairs surrounded by artwork on the walls and piles of books on the bookshelves.
I shared what the Lord has been up to in my life, what was going on in my prayer life, the books I was using for spiritual direction, and how I was doing after a fairly recent break-up.
I shared while I had perfect peace in the decision to end that relationship, it still felt scary and a little overwhelming to trust God in the waiting. While there was peace, I still felt a little confused as to where my life had me in the present moment.
This wise, bold woman of God smiled and leaned in saying, "Patty, let me share with you a piece of advice a Jesuit spiritual director shared with me while I was single."
He said, "Pat, you everything you already need to live a beautiful and meaningful life. Be open and just show up to live your life."
Be open.
Just show up.
Live your life.
I cannot tell you how much that advice she shared with me resonated in my heart and soul.
Since our direction appointment almost a month ago, I have kept those words on repeat. There is a strange comfort and peace in repeatedly coming back to them.
I am a divorced, annulled young woman who is currently single.
Nothing in my life has gone as I imagined it growing up. I know I am called to the vocation of marriage and the desires of my heart are for marriage and family. However, right now as life stands, those things are not a part of my story.
That feels frustrating, scary, and sometimes even unfair.
To be perfectly honest, it can be really hard to trust God in the waiting.
How does one do that well, to trust God in the waiting?
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Growing up, I had a sensitive, tender little heart.
In elementary school, I struggled a bit with girls sometimes being mean or playing the games of "fair weather friendship," which I found confusing or hurtful. When it was difficult for me, my mom always provided a safe haven to come to talk about those situations and help me work through and process my feelings.
One of the things my mom told me in our heart-to-heart chats was to practice saying kind words to myself to help undo the mean, hurtful things said to me by my classmates.
I remember standing in front of the bathroom mirror and trying to say loving, positive words to my reflection. I felt a bit silly (perhaps even a little ridiculous) talking to myself in the mirror. I was also worried my brother might barge in and wonder why in the world I was talking to myself.
It was years and years before I began to believe in the power of saying loving words to myself, but today, I am grateful for these mirror exercises my mom had me practice.
I can acknowledge now how healing and restorative it is to say affirming, kind words to ourselves.
We know there is great power in the words we say to ourselves and to each other. Our spoke words have the ability to encourage and uplift, and at the same time, they can also be used to criticize, judge, or shame. Very often how we talk about other people reflects an inner reality: how we view and speak to ourselves. Sometimes when we are harsh, critical, or judgmental of other people, it reflects a deeper reality of how we feel about ourselves.
We often grow to believe what we say to ourselves, whether they are gentle and loving words or harsh and critical. While my mom had me practice saying kind things to myself all those years ago, it has only been in the last five years of my life that I radically changed my own inner dialogue by using self-affirmation statements in my daily life.
READ THE REST OVER AT VERILY MAGAZINE...
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