5 Great Podcasts (and their great episodes)

I love to read. But a close follow-up is listening to podcasts.
And that's why I love podcasts so much, because they are kinda like books. There are shows on everything, any possible genre you could imagine. 
Here are five great podcasts I think you'd really enjoy, with a particular recommendation for a certain episode.

1. The New Activist The New Activist is a new-ish podcast created through IJM (International Justice Mission). 
This is an organization I am really loving learning about and ways I can support their mission of ending modern slavery in our lifetime. They have a heart for justice, the poor, and are doing some powerful work around the globe.  This has quickly become one of my favorite news shows to follow.
Try this episode: Lu Cille Dejito (warning it is very heavy and could be triggering-topic on cyber sex trafficking of children) VERY powerful and sobering.

2. The Fountains of Carrots I just love Haley and Christy! Every time  I see a new episode load, I get so excited because it feels like I am sitting down with real-life friends. 
Two lovely women chatting on all kinds of things like faith, books, living the liturgical year, culture, and more. Plus these two always have GREAT book recommendations! Because of them, my life has changed immensely through reading Anne of Green Gables. 
Try this episode: Why We Need Silence & Thomas Merton This.episode. I read a little of Merton in grad school and my favorite professor loved his writings. This episode has given me great places to start to read Merton (whom I'm now love!) and gave great insight into the life and person of Thomas Merton.

3. The Liturgists This podcast I just stumbled onto in August as I was moving into my apartment.
A show where the hosts talk on a variety of topics through the lenses of faith, creativity, and science. Their description reads, "Making room at the table for the spiritually homeless and frustrated," is a great summary of what you'll get with their take on hard topics. I love this one because they challenge me to think and stretch myself, especially when it comes to things we may have differing views on.
Try this episode: Black and White: Racism in America Think you know it all? Well you probably don't. Great conversation + they give a ton of book recommendations to learn more.

4. Upside Down Podcast This is new gem is in my weekly play list, but wow is it mighty and fierce! 
Five women having an unscripted conversation on life and faith. One of my friends Shannon is one of the co-hosts too! Just honest, genuine conversation...
Try this episode: Loneliness in the Kingdom of God

5. On Being On Being explores a variety of questions from a variety of perspectives. What does it mean to be human, and how do we want to live? The show has conversations on any and everything. It does a great job of creating open dialogue to break down barriers of class, race, religion, political, and socioeconomic.
Try this episode: Fr. James Martin SJ on Finding God in All Things Fr. Jim Martin is one of my most favorite writers and speakers. A Jesuit priest, here he talks on his journey of faith and how Ignatian spirituality can be something for everyone in all stages of life. One of my favorite episodes of this show!

I listen to so many shows, and it always seems I am adding more ;) I'll share more another time!
Do you have any particular favorite podcasts?!

Lessons from my Christmas Tree

I was a little anxious and nervous about decorating my apartment for Christmas this year.
Last year right before Thanksgiving I moved back to my parents. I didn't have to worry about decorating a home for the holidays since I was temporarily living in their basement. 
But this year is different. Its the first set of holidays in my new little home, by myself.

The weekend of Thanksgiving growing up was when we busted out the tree and played Andy Williams Christmas CD like it was never going out of style. It was always so magical, fun, and loud.
This year on the same weekend, I started unpacking the few Christmas decorations I saved. Shortly after, I just burst into tears (grief is a funny thing). Right away I was reminded that I would be decorating and baking and watching Christmas movies by myself this year. And that just royally sucked.
I let myself cry and be sad. I acknowledged the loneliness and that it feels crappy not having anyone to share this magical time of the year with. Eventually I got it together, made some tea and decided to give decorating a break and journal out the crazy making that started going on in my head.
Several days later I did put up a few things.
The Advent wreath is on the kitchen table. A small Christmas tree with clear twinkle lights sits on the table next to the couch. A small nativity scene is on the bookshelf and several Christmas-y scented candles are scattered around. 
One night I was sitting in the living room; candles lit and I was just enjoying the lights from the little tree sparkling.
I sat there admiring this humble little tree, and started thinking how symbolic it is of life right now for me. Its not big or grand and beautiful like every other Christmas tree I have had. I always wanted our tree to look perfect growing up. I was the nut job that had to have certain ornaments in the exact same position every year. Really who honestly remembers that stuff? Me.
My tree this year is not my dream tree, not the perfect tree I imagine in my mind like years past. It is small, simple, and humble. Life right now is not perfect. It is just different, a time of transition, learning, growing, and healing.
That's why I love Advent so much. 
Advent is a season of waiting and hope. It reminds me that the journey of life is full of seasons of waiting and doing, being still and living out of your mission. 
No season of life is permanent, is forever. 
But seasons of waiting prepare for the next chapter, the next season in our lives. Waiting is hard. But if we use it well, it can be such a an opportunity of growth and self-awareness.
I want to use my season of waiting well.
So I am learning to love this imperfect little tree, this time of life, and not wish it all away. Christmas will still be beautiful and magical this year even without someone to share it with. 
Because actually I am sharing it with someone. The one we are preparing our hearts for.
And spending this season of waiting with him right now is the best thing I can be doing.

St. Francis and Tattoos

Last April, I went to a reflection day for local area youth ministers.
Our speaker was Fr. Dave Pivonka, TOR and creator of The Wild Goose. He is also working on a new series on St. Francis of Assisi too.  I'm kinda stoked for it:)

At that reflection day, Fr. Dave talked a lot about discernment. 
How do we know we are doing God's will?  More specifically i relation to youth ministry, are we even discipling the teens in our care?  Or are we just creating "chameleon Catholics" that are just blending in with everyone else?
If everything were stripped in our ministry, and we were left with Jesus what would that look like?  How would it change what I do?  What would that mean?
His talk really really challenged me and left me thinking and praying on the why behind what we do.
After lunch, Fr. Dave was sharing ways in which we can work with and partner with the Holy Spirit.
And in one example he quoted a saying of St. Francis: "Oh God, You are enough for me." I'm trusting Fr. Dave on his source check since he himself is a Franciscan.  Not to mention it is now permanently on my body ;)
Those words rocked me to my core. For a lot of reasons.
Maybe because it was a week after the divorce was finalized.  Maybe because I have never really believed that for myself.  Maybe because for most of my life I thought I would be enough when I had someone to share my life with.
Whatever the reasons, I spent several months just sitting with those words in silence; praying with and wrestling them in my life.
In the silence, they began to take on a deeper meaning for my life.
So when I decided to get another tattoo, I knew I wanted these words of St. Francis. YOU ARE ENOUGH.

This new phase of my life has really become defined by those words.

YOU ARE ENOUGH. God really has to be enough for me. If I don't learn this now, I don't think I ever will. I am enough just the way I am.  I am enough on my own.
I know I never believed I was enough, so how the heck could I possibly believe God is enough for me?
And you know what? That's a really crappy way to live.
But the next amount of years are going to be focused on living more in these new truths for myself and helping others know that too.
I have always been enough, now I just actually believe it. And the freedom in knowing that to the core of my soul is the best thing.



Are there truths in your own life you have wrestled or struggled with? How have you come to believe them to be true?
PS If you have a tattoo, what's the story behind it?! I love me a good tattoo story:)