The Struggles of Going Through a Divorce While Young

After my divorce in 2016, there was no shortage of trying days in the immediate aftermath.
One particular day jogs my memory. It was Good Friday of 2016. 
At the time I was still working in youth ministry. I was helping during the Triduum with various tasks associated with the different liturgies.
One of my favorite parishioners, a sweet older woman named Joan came up to me. She knew me from when I was an altar server at my home parish, where she used to attend. I always saw her as my "church grandma".
With kindness in her eyes, she asked me, "Patty, are you okay? Where is that handsome husband of yours? I see something in your eyes and I just wonder - are you okay?"
I had to take a deep breath to choke back the tears which started to bubble up in my throat.
I reached out to give her a hug and softly whispered in her ear, "Well Joan, I am not married anymore to him. We got a divorce and I am navigating life in a different way right now."
She gave me the biggest bear hug that felt so reassuring to me.

Going through a divorce at any age is hard and difficult. I do not think people who find themselves in this situation ever dream or imagine it could happen to them.
I got married at twenty-six and by the time I was thirty, I was divorced.

What are some of the frustrating struggles of going through a divorce at a younger age?

For me, there were a handful of things that were especially difficult about navigating divorce as a young Catholic.

• Wondering if the hopes and dreams for marriage and a family would still happen someday.
• Fear about doing life on my own for the first time in life.
• Worry over financially providing for myself.
• How would I navigate dating again after my annulment?
• Wondering how I would learn to trust myself and trust men.
• How would I get through the lonely days and nights?
• How would I navigate the big feelings and emotions that would come as the weeks passed?
• Would people in the Church criticize or judge me and the choice I made?
• How would I thrive and not just survive?

There are plenty more I could include. Perhaps you relate to some of these or if you know someone who would feel a similar way.

No matter the struggles you bump into as a young Catholic navigating a divorce, do this one thing  . . .

Surround yourself with people who carry hope for you.

Fill your life with people who will carry hope for you: about your future, the dreams you have for your life, etc. Ask family members to remind you of this promise on those messy, sad days that good things are coming. God has not - and will not - forgotten you.

Ask them to carry and hold on to hope for you when it feels impossible to believe or have hope yourself.

Yes there are struggles that will arise, but they do not have to wipe you out.

You can do this.

You are not the only person who is going through this situation.

You are not alone.