I acknowledge how the above title might sound a little bit hokey.
But in all honesty, this is life-changing principle I have been learning over the last 8 - 10 months.
When I started my new healthcare job in January, I did something special for myself. I joined a female coaching and mastermind group. It has been a supportive community for women working on career goals, dating, and doing their own healing work.
One of the many insightful things I have learned, is in the title - how to be a friend to my own heart.
I have come to realize how sometimes in relationships and dating that sometimes I over give, serve, and love on the other person at the expense of myself - my feelings and emotions.
It might not sound like that big of a deal to you, but I am learning (especially in dating) be a friend to my heart first - listen and pay attention to her, loving tend to her when she has needs. I am the first person to meet the needs of my heart and mind. I do not put that responsibility on anyone else but myself first.
In new ways as a 36 year old woman, I am learning how to meet the needs of my heart - to re-parent my "little Patty" from a place of wholeness and healing; not neediness or insecurity.
Let me offer an example of how I recently applied this in my life. About a month ago, I went to the wedding of a dear friend.
Watching the father-daughter dance was painful for me, a bit triggering even. In that moment, I could only feel the loss of never having that moment with my dad someday when I get remarried.
I left the reception earlier than usual, and came home to fall asleep watching Golden Girl's.
As I woke up the next morning, I felt "off."
I was bumping into my wounded self, little Patty.
I spent some time journaling and getting in touch with what was really going on inside of me. After some tears and more journaling I decided to read the daily Mass readings.
The Gospel was from John, and in it Jesus is talking about the vine and the branches - how we must stay connected to Him, the true vine.
And then, this: "As the Father loves me, so I also love you" (John 15:9).
So, I also love you.
Jesus loves even my little Patty parts. He loves even those spaces in my heart that feel needy, fearful, anxious, or insecure.
I felt like Jesus was saying those words to me, my five year old little girl who is aching to be loved, taken care of, and safe.
As I sat in those words, I let Jesus hug my little Patty. I let Jesus hug my grown-up Patty self.
That is how to be a friend to your own heart. That is how I am learning to do it in my life right now.
May we love all our parts, just as Jesus loves those parts.
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