The first time I ever heard the term boundaries was about five years ago when I was going back to therapy. What initially brought me back was a toxic marriage with addiction, and I proudly walked in to see what could be done to "fix" my husband's issues.
(I know mature, right?)
However, I quickly began to see that I had my own rug of undealt-with-issues I was dragging behind me. One idea I came to realize and understand more, was that of boundaries.
What are boundaries?
Boundaries are essential for every healthy relationship. Think of boundaries as property lines that define where you begin and end, where another person begins and ends. Boundaries help keep ourselves emotionally safe and within the limits of our own integrity. They help us take responsibility for ourselves without trying to control, fix, or take responsibility for other people.
Having non-negotiable boundaries become a part of your life will truly transform your world. While it might take time to understand and apply them to your unique situations, these practices will benefit all different types of relationships in your life.
What might boundaries look like in different relationships?
Here are some ways boundaries might look different in your romantic relationships, work relationships, and in your own life.
In romantic relationships, healthy boundaries produce:- Clear, open, and respectful communication
- Honesty and accountability
- Respect of personal needs without controlling behaviors
- Ability to express one's needs and wants within the relationship
In healthy work environments, boundaries can look like:
- Ensuring that communication is open, appropriate, and clear - without the fear of "being fired" for speaking honestly to a superior or co-worker
- Keeping the workplace free of gossip, petty meanness, and invasion of personal privacy
- Leaving work at work so people can rest and recharge when away from work
It can be easy to see where some areas may need boundary work and focus, but where do we begin?
Here are some helpful things to keep in mind as you establish new routines with non-negotiable boundaries.
