Sometimes s%#! happens & all you can do is pray

Preparing and planning for WYD in Poland took us a little over two years. But no matter all the dotting i's and crossing t's, sometimes the most detailed plans do not go as expected.
And that was WYD 2016 for me folks.

I would always joke in previous trips, the group was allowed just 1 hospital visit in case of emergency. Well this time around, I used the 1 visit + an additional one.
The day our group went to the salt mines, I got really woozy and dizzy and had to leave. On top of feeling a bad cold coming on, and feeling a little worse over the past few days I decided to make a run to the hospital because being a sick group leader of 11 people is no flipping fun.
The doctor was friendly, said I was starting to get dehydrated (so pump in the water!) and gave me some scripts for a viral infection. Well somehow it got lost in translation that I was here in Poland as a WYD pilgrim and was constantly outside in the sun. Because the second time I went to the hospital, I found out the reason I was so sick (preview of coming attraction) is because those original meds I should have NEVER been in the sun to begin with.
So fast forward 2 days later.
After spending a somber, but powerful morning in Auschwitz, our bus was heading to the shrine of Our Lady of Czestochowa for Sunday Mass. On the bus ride, I began to notice small red bumps on the inside of my palms. Didn't think much at the time, but thought it seemed a little strange.
Over the next 2-3 days, my hands and feet began breaking out in small, red, and very painful bumps. My Dad and I thought it was an allergic reaction so I stopped one of the meds. They began to feel very itchy and the pain and burning was getting more intense. 
The afternoon we went to the Divine Mercy Shrine, I was at my mental and physical limit. I didn't even go in the shrine because I was in so much pain/exhausted and was waiting outside to meet up with two nurses from another group so they could see and try to figure out was going on with me.
The burning pain in my feet and hands was nothing I have ever experienced. I had to sit with my palms facing up waving them around to help distract me, and outside the shrine took my shoes/socks off because my feet were burning so much. Add to that an explorer's hat and I was probably quite the sight to see.
A friend kept me company outside as I waited to the nurses, and that's when I lost it. I started bawling my eyes out.  I then proceeded to give God my two cents and said "I just wish I had something I could f-ing offer this up for!" And as soon as I uttered those words, I said to Katie, "My gosh, I know I need to offer this up for him!"...my former husband. It hit me like thunderbolts, I could use this physical pain and my feelings of being very scared for someone I'm still being taught about lessons of mercy.
I pulled out my tiny blue cord rosary and started praying the Chaplet of Divine Mercy. When the pain got more uncomfortable, I just moved the knots through my fingers repeating softly, "Jesus I offer this up, Jesus I offer this up." Throughout the next few days, I rotated between praying those words and the chaplet.
The nurses eventually came gave some medicine and cream and helped me get back to our dorm in a taxi.
However the next morning I was no better. The red bumps were now spreading up my legs. I could barely walk. The only way I could walk that was least painful was on the very heels of my feet. Our travel agent arranged for an English speaking-Polish speaker to come help take me to the hospital. My feet were so swollen and painful, I could only wear socks without shoes.
Waiting in the hospital I just kept praying and trying as best as possible to offer up all the scary and pain I was experiencing.

This image, these words mean so MUCH more to me...

Finally I saw a doctor who then sent me to see the dermatology section of the hospital. 4 dermatologists later, I was told I should have never been on those original medicines and by the end of the week it could have almost killed me. Ummm....what the what?! Moving forward I could not be in the sun, and if I was I had to be completely covered...that's why in a lot of our pictures I am under the safety of umbrella's.
4 new oral meds later, 1 shot in my butt, and completely bandaged feet (with instructions to do for the next 3-4 days) I hobbled into a taxi with my life-saver Polish friend Marta and we headed to the pharmacy. She even took me to a grocery store to get something to eat before helping me get back to the dorm.

For the next 1 1/2 days I had to stay behind from the group, so I could rest and let the new, safe, non-killing meds do their healing work. During that time, I just lay in bed praying the chaplet , drank a crap ton of water, and constantly went to the bathroom.
Eventually I was able to re-join our group and finish the rest of the pilgrimage with them. They were so sweet sharing their umbrella's with me till I found a HUGE one in Krakow and making sure I had enough water and was covered from the sun.

Waiting for the Pope, enjoying the shade ;)

It was very scary and confusing.  But at the same time, I felt so close to the heart of Jesus. Literally I could do was lay in bed and pray. Those many, many hours God took me deeper into my understanding of what it really means to offer up and unite our pain/suffering to Jesus. I felt like this gave me a sliver of an insight into people who constantly struggle and suffer from chronic pain. Yes I was praying and offering this all up for my primary intention, but I was so honored to have friends from home (even some of our travel agent guides) texting me prayer intentions.
As a result, I have a much deeper appreciation and love for St. Faustina and the prayer Jesus taught her in the chaplet of Divine Mercy. 
I had strong sense in my personal prayer before WYD, that all that has gone in my life this past year + being the Year of Mercy was by no way a coincidence. God is using all of these details to weave something bigger and more powerful than I could have imagined. The word mercy is no longer a casual concept or "nice" Christian-ese word to me...it is a word that has broken and restored my heart many times over the last months.
World Youth Day in Poland was absolutely NOTHING what I had prepared for over the last two years, but at the same time I wouldn't change one moment of it. Sure looking back I can say that now. But somehow I think it was exactly what God wanted to teach me and I can be okay with that:)

Grocery store trip with "Patty the Vampire!"

Sometimes in life shit happens and literally all you can do is pray.
And sometimes those are best teaching moments, the moments where God messes you up in beautiful and radical ways.

How Auschwitz Helped Me Let Go

Sometimes kids get obsessed with certain trends, games, or movie characters growing up. As a little girl, for me it was WWII history + the Holocaust.

May we never forget...

My Grandpa was a proud veteran of the war so maybe that had something to do with it. 
As I got older, I watched a lot of war movies growing up with my Dad and loved reading Anne Frank's diary. Watching documentaries or meeting survivors of the Holocaust always deeply impacted my young heart. For my first real research paper in 8th grade, I wrote about the history of anti-Semitism and what led up to the tragedy of the Holocaust. Our family patron saint was Maximilian Kolbe, a Franciscan friar who gave up his life in Auschwitz to save a fellow prisoner. 
So for the longest time, I have told myself that I needed to visit Auschwitz someday. 

In preparing the last two years for World Youth Day in Poland, one of the things I was most anxious to see was Auschwitz. And having since been there, reading about a place and then visiting it are two radically different things.
It was also really important for me to see where St. Max died both personally and spiritually.

You see, St. Maximilian Kolbe is the patron saint of those who struggle with addictions. And when I was married, I developed a deep relationship with this humble priest always asking his prayers for healing and restoration to my former husband and our marriage.
Walking through this place I read about my whole life was one of the most sobering experiences of my life. The only way I can describe it was that this is the grave reality of what happens when we let hate, bigotry, and racism fester in our hearts and minds. It destroys people, it destroys our very humanity.
As I approached cell block 11 (where St. Maximilian Kolbe died) I knew I wanted to stop and spend some moments in prayer, but had no idea what would come out of my mouth.
I walked up to the brick building, put my hand on the wall and just began to cry. Throughout this year, I felt like God was calling me to really pray for my former spouse. I stood there crying and felt like God was somehow releasing me of that here in this place. I turned over the spiritual care/healing of the man I used to be married to St. Max; knowing he could not be in any better or safer hands. I started crying harder. 

I prayed for this man's healing, and total restoration. I prayed my heart would be able to trust again and not be hardened to men moving forward. I prayed for myself and the healing work I still have yet to do. I even prayed for whomever that man is I would someday re-marry. I prayed for people trapped and battling with addictions. I prayed God would someday be able to use all of "this" to somehow help and minister to other people.
In place of great pain and suffering, it was like God was helping me detach emotionally and spiritually from the last several years of my life. In this place of death, it helped me accept a particular chapter of my life in a new, peaceful way.
Visiting Auschwitz helped me detach, accept, and show mercy. It was such a radical reminder of what happens when hate and unforgiveness lingers in the hearts of humanity...but yet, it also showed me that the only answer to pain, evil, and suffering is mercy. Divine Mercy.
Mercy doesn't erase evil and suffering, but it is a soothing balm that helps heal shattered hearts of anger, bitterness, and resentment. 

I am so grateful to have been able to visit this place and for all it is teaching me right where God has me right now.
St. Maximilian Kolbe, pray for us!

It's More than Catholic Woodstock

World Youth Day itself is amazingly incredible as well as equally chaotic and stressful at times. Sometimes it can be hard to explain to folks who have never been.
My sweet friend Laurel went to WYD both in 2000 (Rome) and 2002 (Toronto). I am so excited to have her share her WYD experiences here today:) Take it away Laurel!
---------- During my teenage years, I had the privilege of attending two World Youth Days -- Rome in 2000 and Toronto in 2002 --which would radically change my life. Youth ministry was an important aspect of my life throughout this time, but these two events were the cherry on top, so to speak, of that period. It was during (and following) those pilgrimages that I became more firmly convicted in orienting my life toward Christ, in searching Him out and truly discerning the vocation He was calling me to live.

Rome in 2000

They call us the John Paul II Generation, and rightly so, for his words and example have struck us to the core. Our dear Holy Father seemed timeless, maintaining that vigor of youth that accompanied him in his twenties and thirties as a young priest. We connected with him instantly. (And, incredibly, I don't think this was an exclusive experience for the youth.) He spoke directly to the hopes and dreams of our hearts, and inspired us to follow Christ daily.
In both WYDs that I attended, the closing homilies given by our Holy Father, St. Pope John Paul II, touched my heart deeply. His words seemed a personal letter written just for me, from a loved one who cared immensely for my spiritual health and general well-being.
He spoke words of truth that I could not ignore. Nor have I been able to ver all these years, having gone back over those homilies numerous times. Even reading them once again today, in preparation for writing this, I am struck by them. They fill me with emotions as I remember how they moved me--how they still move me with a desire to live my life in Christ.

During the first one I attended, we were celebrating the Jubilee Year. The Holy Father emphasized over and over again the importance of making the Eucharist the center of our week, the focal point of our lives.

“Dear friends, when you go back home, set the Eucharist at the centre of your personal life and community life: love the Eucharist, adore the Eucharist and celebrate it, especially on Sundays, the Lord’s Day. Live the Eucharist by testifying to God’s love for every person….

You yourselves must be fervent witnesses to Christ’s presence on the altar. Let the Eucharist mould your life and the life of the families you will form. Let it guide all life’s choices. May the Eucharist, the true and living presence of the love of the Trinity, inspire in you ideals of solidarity, and may it lead you to live in communion with your brothers and sisters in every part of the world.”

I was inspired to attend daily Mass often and make time for Adoration at least weekly. During my college years, with a chapel just steps from my dorm, I was able to follow His beckoning with great regularity. This closeness to Christ helped me through my formative studies and influenced some wonderful relationships I formed with others during my college years. I miss this as it has become more difficult for me to make regular visits, but makes me realize just how powerful connection to His Heart in the Eucharist is for my life.
In Toronto, the Holy Father spoke on the Gospel where Christ calls us to be the "salt of the earth" and "light of the world." Drawing back to Vatican II's "universal call to holiness," we were reminded that every one of us is called to be a saint. We are called wherever life takes us to be saints in those very moments, to enliven the world with the flavor of Christ's love.

“It is a world which needs to be touched and healed by the beauty and richness of God's love. It needs witnesses to that love. The world needs salt. It needs you - to be the salt of the earth and the light of the world.

Salt seasons and improves the flavour of food. Following Jesus, you have to change and improve the "taste" of human history.”

Getting ready to leave! (Toronto in 2002)

He reminded us that holiness is not just for the elderly, something to do once you've lived your life, but for us, right now. “[H]oliness is not a question of age; it is a matter of living in the Holy Spirit.”
In fact, one of our greatest assets to the living Church was our youthful hope. He called us to embrace this and continue to look towards it in the midst of difficult situations, in the midst of our faults and failings.

“I have seen enough evidence to be unshakably convinced that no difficulty, no fear is so great that it can completely suffocate the hope that springs eternal in the hearts of the young. You are our hope, the young are our hope.

Do not let that hope die! Stake your lives on it! We are not the sum of our weaknesses and failures; we are the sum of the Father's love for us and our real capacity to become the image of his Son.”

Even when I stumble, even when I neglected my relationship with God, I am reminded that He is constantly calling me back to Him. There have been some dark times in my life since 2002, but recalling these words of St. Pope John Paul II have always helped me return to a place of hopefulness for the future. They have reminded me of what the Lord wants of me, of the importance of always drawing near to Him.

World Youth Days are like large Catholic rallies where one can connect with like-minded Christians. But they are so much more. With an open heart, they can be a turning point that changes the rest of one's life. Carrying on the zeal that was enlivened there, taking to heart the wisdom shared, they became for me the opening act of a life lived in Christ. (If you have a moment, take a read through the homilies yourself {2000 and 2002}.)

---------- I love the perspective of people who attended WYD's I myself have not. I never had the experience of being at WYD with its founder, St. Pope John Paul II, so I cherish hearing stories of those who were present.  So thank you for sharing those precious memories Laurel!

Prayers I'm Taking to Poland

In Auschwitz, I am told there is a lone Paschal candle in cell block 13 where St. Maximilian Kolbe died giving his life to save a fellow prisoner. A stark reminder of the powerful witness of martyrdom of this priest but also a reminder of the millions lost in such a place.
When in Poland, our group will visit Auschwitz and that very same cell block. 
As I imagine what this experience will be like for me personally, I find myself recalling and praying overt the words in the first chapter of John's Gospel: "...the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it."
Over the last few days as I hear of the horror and true evil I see unfolding in our country and worldwide, I just keep whispering these words to myself: "No Lord, the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness will never overcome it."  It is a prayer welling deep inside my heart.

I am heart sick in so many ways of the evil and pain I see in the world, especially in the last few weeks as I prepare to take a journey of peaceful prayer with young people. 
I cry for those hurting, angry, and frustrated.  I cry over my own sinfulness and faulty perceptions of others.
Racism. Bigotry. Hatered. Terrorism. Hurtful words. Death. People suffering greatly. Sometimes it honestly is too much to even turn on the local or world news.
To me, that lone Paschal candle in cell block 13 represents the grave reality of our world right now. Our world is in darkness. Yes it is broken and sinful. And yes, people around the globe are suffering immensely. 
But no matter the darkness, the light always shines in the darkness and will never be overcome.  The light of radical compassion will break through. The light of mercy, grace, forgiveness, will always prevail. The light of justice, truth, and humility will break through. 
Jesus is that light but we are commanded to be that light as well.
I feel like I want to carry so many people and situations in my heart as we journey to Poland.
I carry in my heart all the pain, frustration, and crazy going on in our own country; for healing and honest dialogue in these painful realities. I want to carry people dealing with horrific trauma and loss from senseless killings.
Personally, I carry to Poland all of what the last year of my life has entailed. I carry those I still need to forgive and give them in love to the Father. I carry my former spouse, whom I pray for frequently. And I carry all that God has been teaching me about myself and my identity in Him.

A pilgrimage presents an opportunity to pray for and offer up the journey for other people back at home. It is a way to unite what I am experiencing with those across the ocean back home.
There is a lot to bring before God in our world and individual lives today. And I am looking at the coming days in Poland as an opportunity to just pray for the light to break through, and shine in the darkness of our hearts and in our world.
Hit me up with an e-mail if you have any prayer requests!  I'd be honored to carry you too over our pilgrimage :)

Back to school...with a bouquet of sharpened pencils

It is Friday and that is something to jump for joy over:)  In keeping with tradition, I'm linking up with Jen again for the good ol' quick takes...

{1} Grad school classes started up again this week.  Even now as an adult (ish), I get SO excited about seeing the school supply section at Target; like it brings the hugest smile to my face:)  There is a scene in You've Got Mail where Meg Ryan talks about getting a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils, and I've always loved it since having a special place in my heart for back-to-school supplies.

I'm taking two classes for the fall semester, and one of them only meets every other week (heck yeah!).  I had my second class this afternoon; its a Scripture course where we intensely study the first 5 books of the Old Testament (the Pentateuch) to really understand and see how the story of salvation is written in even from the beginning of time/Scripture; to see that all of Scripture points us to Jesus.  The bishop who is teaching the course shared this quote today that really struck me: "The Bible is shallow enough for a child to wade in, but deep enough for an adult to swim in" -St. Augustine.  Looking forward to really getting into the Old Testament more intensely!  I love the fact I can study something that excites me and fills my heart with energy and passion:)

{2}  Since getting home from Brazil a month ago (has it really bee that long!?!?), our group of pilgrims has thoroughly shared our journey and experience with the folks of our church.  One awesome way we did this is through a kick booty video one of our pilgrims made.  She sent me a copy this week in the mail and to put on our church website.
Give er' a watch :)

{3} Growing up did anybody else legitimately think that Labor Day was a national holiday to honor women in labor to give birth!?!?! No just, me okay then...moving on right along...
On Monday, we went over to my folks for a bbq and a lively family game of Apples to Apples.  We had some drinks, ate some tasty pulled pork, and my sister and chatted about blogging and books we each have been reading. 
I'm really thinking about changing the name (re-branding?...I don't even know the terminology) the name of my blog.  Honestly, I'm not really the creative type and when I wanted to start blogging I just threw this title together to get going; now I'm just not crazy about it and what something that just reflects me better and sounds better.  All I have come up with on my own is "H is for Hubbard" (Jim and my sister quickly nixed that one) and "The Wifely Life"...
Any of you creative, type gals have idea's?? I'm stumped and am all ears for suggestions/idea's.



{4}

 In case you haven't heard, Pope Francis has called September 7 as a day of fasting and prayer in the world to pray for peace especially in Syria and also the Middle East.  Honestly it is scary to read some of the stories I have come across about the great persecution of Christians in this part of the world.  My question is what the heck is going to happen to these people whose homes and churches are already being destroyed and families being kidnapped/killed after a military strike???  We live in a broken fallen world due to sin (grad school education at work here:), but prayer and fasting are like spiritual dynamite, and I'm thinking with all the evil in our world and the horror going on in Syria and other places...what our world needs more of is PRAYER.

The awesome thing about what the Pope is ding is that he asking all people in the world: Catholic, non-Catholic, believers, non-believers, all people of good will to pray and offer up sacrifices together on Saturday to pray for peace in Syria.  Isn't praying for peace (whether you tight with Jesus or not) something we can all get behind?

Cause prayer and fasting isn't official until you get a cool graphic for it

{5}

Thursday night was the kick-off monthly meeting to our young adult group i.d. 916.  Jim and I went with my sister Annie and had a great time!  Mass, dinner, a relevant talk for young adults, and just great resources for trying to live out our faith as Christians.  In being in one of the small groups they run for women, it is really helping me meet other young women and especially new wives/mom's who are on a similar vocation path as me.
Next weekend they are having a fall retreat, and I am SO excited both Jim and I get to go.  Looking forward to spending all next weekend with the husband, other young adults...oh and yeah, Jesus too ;)



{6}

Last Sunday after Mass, Jim and I got to meet our little goddaughter, Eliana.  Her Mom and Dad brought her to Mass and afterwards when we were chatting, asked if we would like to hold her.  yes. please. Only two weeks old, she looked like a little doll in my arms, and it made my heart swoon.
The cutest thing is when I did a hand off to Jim of the baby (he has never really held a baby before) and it was awkward and sweet all wrapped into one.  You could tell he wasn't used to holding babies and he held her in this weird way so close to his face/mouth, later I said it looked like he was going to eat the baby.
Seeing him with a baby like that is crazy cool...and even more crazy.weird.cool. is thinking about us having little ones:)

{7}
Okay peeps, I need some advice.  I have never liked the smell and/or taste of the very very few times in my life I have tried coffee.  Jim is encouraging me to give it a second chance, especially Diet Coke doesn't give e the extra umph to plug through a busy, tiring day.
So I'm open to giving coffee a chance.  However, I have NO idea where to start.
Flavored or black coffee? cream or sugar? what are good types of liquid creamer to try?
Help a girl out as she branches out into a new area of caffeinated beverages.



 I'll leave you to get your Friday 'happy dance' on with Carlton Banks.  
 Seriously. How does this just not make you smile!?!?!
 

Have a fantabulous weekend!!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Top 10 list of World Youth Day 2013

Yes I know I am writing a lot about WYD recently.  But I mean come on, when 3.7 million people gather for something totally fun, peaceful, and not involving anything crazy/weird...it is easy to keep thinking and reflecting on it cause it is jam packed full of awesome.
So I decided to take a Dave Letterman top 10 approach to savoring the awesome, great moments along with stressful ones that may have led me to freak the freak out on the inside.  Only a little bit. :)

So, drum roll pleaseee...doesn't Dave Letterman always start his with a drum roll?? I thought so. Hmm, okay...moving on right along...

10.  My "virgin" cocktail with a sleeping pill
Okay, I get this one may sound rather strange...no I did not drink on a trip I was in charge of teens.  First of all, when I travel internationally I typically don't sleep well; it takes me a long time to re-adjust to my new surroundings and by the time I do, BAM!  It's time to go home.  Once our group got to Rio, we were able to balance a a fairly good routine of keeping up with the official schedule and resting...but about half way through the week, I knew I needed a little help to keep me going.  So I pulled out the prescription my doctor gave me for Ambien to help me sleep better and with a chilled glass of zero cal cherry flavored ginger ale, I put on my sleep mask and threw in my ear plugs was off to sleep.  It did help me sleep sounder and give me the energy to not only survive, but thrive all the festivities of World Youth Day.

9.  "The Great Backpack Fiasco of 2013"
This phrase was termed by one of our teens...you can read when she wrote about it on our pilgrimage blog here and here. 
So one of the things all WYD pilgrims receive upon their arrival is this backpack full of goodies: an official t-shirt, hat, cross, a pilgrim guide with maps and resources for getting around, liturgy guide, and most important our free transportation and meal cards.  When we arrived in Rio at our hotel, we were told to drive 50 miles in the opposite direction to go pick them up.  So two adults went and waited for the backs.  After four hours of waiting they were told, they ran out and to come back the next day.  Apparently it was quite chaotic from what I heard when this happened; people were shouting and chanting, "Give us our backpacks! Give us our backpacks!"  The same adults went back the next day even earlier, but no backpacks.  At this time, I was preparing for the worst that we might actually never get them and we wouldn't get the free transportation/food cards.  On Wednesday morning our group was out doing some sight seeing in Rio, when we got a call from one of the other adults that they finally were able to find backpacks!!
We were in the metro station when we got the good news, and burst out into cheers and shouts because we were so excited...and only drew more attention to us as American pilgrims!  In thanksgiving we joined hands in the station and prayed the Our Father out loud together.  We were all so relieved that the "backpack fiasco of 2013" was now officially resolved!

8.  Going to Corcovado and seeing Christ the Redeemer statue
Our first full day in Rio we went to the famous Christ the Redeemer statue.  When we arrived there, the weather was very cool and cloudy...we took a tram up to the top which is about a 20 minute ride.
 As you walk up to the statue, you actually come up around the back side on the left of Jesus...hence the picture of Jesus' backside.

The day we went it was cloudy, and honestly you couldn't see all those famous views you hear or read about.  It felt like monsoon winds and we got pelted with buckets and buckets of rain...but hey it makes for all the more special a memory, right? :)
















All of this proved an interesting reflection for several in our group that we talked about later that evening in prayer and de-briefing.  For a tourist, getting that perfect picture is important and matters...but we were not tourists in Brazil, but rather pilgrims on a spiritual journey. And sure would I have liked to see all the scenery around us, of course! But honestly that wasn't what going to Corcovado is really all about.  What I took away from that morning was more the spiritual meaning this famous statue of Jesus represents to me and to my life.  Christ welcomes all int His arms, no. exceptions.  He just wants us all...and in striving to be like Jesus (even though half of the time I royally suck at it) I really do want to be that way to all the people in my life.  And even though it rained cats and dogs, I really did experience God's light and warmth that day...just to be there and witness cultures from all over the globe being there in a celebration of faith was definitely one of the high points for me while in Rio.

This is as the high winds broke my umbrella...

But I was still smiling through it all :)

7.  Seeing Pope Francis

On Thursday was the official welcome of Pope Francis to Rio.  He was already in the city doing other things, but it was the first official time he met with the WYD pilgrims and prayed with us.
Having been to WYD twice before, I knew how awesome and special it is to see the Pope up close and I wanted to be sure our pilgrims could have the same experience.  I took our crew to catechesis in the morning; where we had prayer, music, and learned about our faith from a bishop around the US.  My Dad, our body guard/male chaperone was sent on a special mission right after breakfast to stoke out a post along the barricade so we would be sure to front row seats to see Pope Francis.  Our group left catechesis a little early to beat the rush of people and also before the metro closed down into the city at 1pm.
We arrived about 11am and set up a good ol' USA camp along the barricade:)

From about 11a-2p, it was pretty empty around Copacabana.  We were able to split into groups so somebody was always at our spot, and go walk on the beach a little bit, go shopping at the official WYD store, and get food.  I popped a squat on my foam mat and started reading the pilgrim and liturgy guide that came in our backpacks we got the day before.  Nothing like sitting on the street reading a good book ;)

From about 2-4, it got more crowded.  Some Brazilian people started gathering around us, probably hoping we would be gracious to give them our spots. fat.chance.  I'm sorry but if ya want a good standing spot to see the Pope get your butt out here early like we did.

From 4-6pm, it was.crazy.insane. We were literally pushed.right. against the barricade.  The folks behind us were yelling at us to move our backpack, but we chained them to the barricade.  They kept yelling "Americanos, move!" Heck.no. First of all they were pushing so hard that they actually moved the barricade over our stuff that wasn't chained to it.  On top of that there were volunteers pushing it back, with the National Guard behind the volunteers.  Lucky us we got to be sandwiched in the midst of it all...but it is all bout perspective, and I'm choosing to say it was a very 'unique' memory:)

This picture sums it up pretty well, and was probably about 30 minutes before we saw the Pope drive by.

You can of just now when the Pope is en route: people get more pushy, lots of chanting, and then once you hear the screaming a see a flash a of camera light you know the moment is upon you:)
I had become friends with one of the volunteers in front of our area, and he said when Pope Francis drove by he would take my camera and get some pictures.  I was more than happy, because I knew there was no way I could get a good a shot because I would be to busy yelling and cheering my little heart out.  No they ended up not being great shots, but later in the week I got a great video that was really clear to see.

Here he comes!!

And there he goes!!

I know for people who aren't Catholic understanding what the Pope is/means to Catholics may seem odd.  We don't see Pope Francis as Jesus at all.  But when Jesus commissioned the 12 he specifically told Peter, "You are Peter and on this rock I will build my church."  We understand Peter to be the first Pope, and we see the role of the Pope as a representation of Jesus...the Pope is the spiritual leader/teacher of all that Christ left us.  Did you know every Pope can be historically traced back to Peter?? Crazy!

 

6.  The porta potties...and how to remain dignified
So originally the overnight vigil was to be held somewhere else in Rio, much further away.  However because of all the rain at the beginning of the week on Wednesday the officials decided to move the whole horse and pony show to Copacabana..especially after they killed 4 alligators at the original site because of all the flooding!! I'm all for adventure, but NOT when it involves alligators!

So anyway because the vigil was moved to the beach, there ended up not being enough porta potties.  Long lines I can live with, but the smell of umm you know, bodily fluids, as you wake up in the morning is not the type of thing that makes you want breakfast.  I used them on Saturday night before I went to bed, and the smell was already bad...bad enough where I jammed toilet paper in my nose when I went in.  By the next morning many people were saying they were overflowing, so in the morning I dug a little hole and did my business in a fairly dignified manner.  Don't judge me.
We were all so glad to get back to the hotel that night and use a real toilet!!

5.  The experience of being with 3.7 million people, all on the same beach
Yup, you heard right; 3.7 million was the total number of people at the closing Mass on Sunday morning.  Honestly other than the whole bathroom thing and it being crowded, it is actually such an awesome experience!  I really loved when our group split off into pairs and just walked around the beach in prayerful, quiet...just observing all of these people, cultures, flags, and many expressions of our faith in Christ.  People sometimes say that the Catholic Church is dying or not vibrant, well clearly they haven't been to World Youth Day.
It is just such a joyful thing to witness and be a part of!  It makes me feel not alone in my faith and really does re-charge my spiritual batteries to see so many people, young people mostly, pumped up and fire for Christ and their faith!

4.  Prayer Vigil on Saturday night with the Pope

The vigil on Saturday into Sunday I think is one of the high points for many people.  We arrived at the beach about 11am and where able to secure the same little grove of palm tree's we hung out during the Stations of the Cross on Friday.  We made such good time because we decided not to wait in the LONGGG line for the food boxes for the Vigil.  We ditched the line and decided to head to the beach so we would have a good spot on the beach.

Saturday afternoon and early evening was spent keeping an eye on our stuff and protecting 'Camp USA', walking to a market far away to get some water/snacks, walking around the beach just observing all the people/flags/cultures present, and standing in very long lines to go potty.  Saturday evening was the prayer vigil with the Pope.  There was Eucharistic Adoration, music, silent prayer time, and Pope Francis gave an awesome reflection.  It was amazing just to close my eyes and look back in my mind that I was there praying with millions of people from all over the globe.
After the prayer, I busted out my blankets and ear plugs...and after one final trip to the bathroom, was off to sleep:)

Setting up camp at Copacabana

Red bike lights on our palm tree...Christmas in July

 3. Participating in the largest flash mob EVER!
Sunday morning before the closing Mass, all 3.7 million of us participated in the world's largest flash mob to welcome and honor Pope Francis.  Not gonna lie.  It was wayyy cool.
Our group is somewhere in there...I'm the one dancing around wearing an Iraqi flag:)

2.  Going to Mass with people from all over the globe
The closing Mass started about 10am on Sunday.  The language used was Portuguese but on mini radios we brought with us we were able to tune in on a certain station to listen in English.  We sang...prayed together....heard the Word proclaimed...and reflected upon the challenge Pope Francis left us in the homily: GO. DO NOT BE AFRAID. SERVE.
Check out the text here, it is really awesome!! :)
Honestly, even with the masses of people on the beach and over flowing onto the streets, you could hear nothing but the bells ringing at the consecration.  To see so many people kneeling in reverence for their love of Christ as they waited to receive communion.  We all walked to special umbrella's where priest's were giving out holy communion.  The communion hymn was "We are one Body, one body in Christ..." the same song played the previous Sunday when we attended Mass at Immaculate Conception in Jacarei.  That song means so much more to me after worshiping with so many of my brothers and sisters in faith from all over the world.  We really are all one family, one body in Christ.

After Mass, Pope Francis announced that the next World Youth Day will be in Krakow, Poland in 2016!  I'm very much considering going to the next one...my Dad even said he is ready and willing to do this again:)


1.  Most powerful words of World Youth Day...

Surprise, surprise it was from Pope Francis.  But even since returning home, I've sat and reflected on them and they still mean just as much to me as they did hearing them the first time on the sandy beach of Copacabana.

"We need saints without cassocks, without veils - we need saints with jeans and tennis shoes. We need saints that go to the movies that listen to music, that hang out with their friends. We need saints that place God in first place ahead of succeeding in any career. We need saints that look for time to pray every day and who know how to be in love with purity, chastity and all good things. We need saints - saints for the 21st century with a spirituality appropriate to our new time. We need saints that have a commitment to helping the poor and to make the needed social change. We need saints to live in the world, to sanctify the world and to not be afraid of living in the world by their presence in it. We need saints that drink Coca-Cola, that eat hot dogs, that surf the internet and that listen to their iPods. We need saints that love the Eucharist, that are not afraid or embarrassed to eat a pizza or drink a beer with their friends. We need saints who love the movies, dance, sports, theater. We need saints that are open sociable normal happy companions. we need saints who are in this world and who know how to enjoy the best in this world without being callous or mundane. We need saints." 
--Pope Francis

"What do I expect as a consequence of the Youth Day? I expect a mess. There will be one. There will be a mess here in Rio? There will be! But I want a mess in the dioceses! I want people to go out! I want the Church to go out to the street! I want us to defend ourselves against everything that is worldliness, that is installation, that is comfortableness, that is clericalism, that is being shut-in on ourselves. The parishes, the schools, the institutions, exist to go out!" 
 --Pope Francis


So GO OUT in the world! Be saint and be a messy Christian!
Go make an awesome, beautiful mess in the world for Christ:)

A piece of my heart will always belong to Brazil

Well since my return home from Brazil this past Tuesday it appears the travel and exhaustion have caught up with me.  This morning the husband and I spent the morning in urgent care after I awoke to find my eye crusty and goopy (thankfully it wasn't pink eye!).  After some anti-biotics, special eye drops, and constant use of my netty pot I am hunkering down the rest of today till the good ol' medicine starts kicking in.  Jim thought he was funny last night, but more bordering on annoying  as he helped hold my hair back as I did my ever-oh-so-attractive-nasal-rinse and as I am doing my nasty thing he gets this big grin and pipes up: "Gee sweetie, remember that "in sickness and health" thing from our wedding...do you really think God meant to include this in the job description!? "  My response wasn't something exactly charitable and not something I probably should repeat here, but later afterwards we both were able to chuckle about it.  Ohhhh marriage:)

So since I am relaxing in bed today, I decided to crank out this post that has been long on my heart even while I was still in Brazil.
I have been really privileged to do a lot of international traveling in my young adult years that has left me with some amazing memories and really shaped me as a person both emotionally and spiritually.  This most recent pilgrimage to Brazil to attend World Youth Day has left a much deeper impression on my heart than any other WYD or perhaps than any other trip has.  I wanted to make sure I reflect upon it now before I forget and it just becomes a pleasant memory in my heart when I glance at video's or pictures of the years.

Friday, July 19th our group left Detroit and flew direct to Sao Paulo, Brazil and arrived early in the am on Saturday.  Let's just say the sleeping pill + plus constant turbulence didn't allow for the most restful sleep, but I survived it and was just looking forward to the next time I could go to bed:) A bus picked us up at the airport to take us to a town called Jacarei, a suburb of Sao Paulo and about a 45 minute or so bus ride.  As we pulled into town, our bus kinda knocked over a motor cycle and set the alarm off on it; us Americans know how to announce our presence! ;)  As we pulled up next to Immaculate Conception church there were about 40 or so people waving, cheering, and waving the Brazilian flag.  As we got off the bus, honestly the only way I can compare it to is going through a reception line at a wedding as the bride and groom: people just passed us down the line, hugging and kissing us..some even handing us gifts fresh off the bus!  You could just see it in their faces how excited they were to have us here.  And then suddenly they just started grabbing our luggage; I certainly didn't mind the help especially as I packed a bag that was 48 pounds:)  After dropping off all our gear at a storage room in the church we walked a few blocks and walked up the stairs into a building where they prepared breakfast for all of us American pilgrims.

Now when I say breakfast, you may think milk, cereal, and a little fresh fruit, right?  Well what these good souls prepared look like breakfast, lunch, and dinner together! We're talking multiple fresh fruits like mango, papaya, and guava, fresh bread and meats with cheeses, several types of meat casseroles/pastries, cookies, cakes, and then a multiple abundance of fresh fruit juices distinct to Brazil.  WOW. My cup and tummy runneth over.  Of course everything was homemade and you could tell some of these people had gotten up early to make us this dee-lic meal.

The parish priest, Fr. Pedro (an awesome man of God with a killer voice who deserves an album deal with Sony!) welcomed us all in his native tongue, Portuguese and they all clapped for us...closest I ever felt to being a celebrity!  Then Fr. Pedro led his congregation in praying the Our Father in their language, and afterwards invited us to all do so in English. very. cool.  And then the feasting began!
Even before arriving in Brazil, I threw weight Watchers out the window for the time I was there and boy am I glad did!  I tried a little bit of everything and there was nothing I didn't like; for a sometimes picky eater like myself this was a big deal.  I thought I was full until the nuns came around offering second helpings of meat pie, cake, and fruit juice....how do you say no to a cute, smiling nun!? To it all of, there was a gentleman who was playing traditional Brazilian music that only made my desire to get up and learn the samba even greater in me:)

As we were eating the people of the church just came up and talked to us, and we were given a little bag with some welcome gifts.  While staying in Jacarei, each of us would be put up by different host families of the parish; so while the eating, talking, and live music was going on the host families were trying to figure out and find their new American sons and daughters.  After we stuffed our faces with Brazilian yumminess, Fr. Pedro let us know we would go spend the day in the park and doing some activities there.  Afterwards we would come back to the church where our families would come collect us, and then we would spend the evening with them at home until all meeting at church that evening for a fiesta.

After we breakfast we loaded a bus and were off to the park!  As we left, my Dad called my Mom to let her know we safely arrived.  After he got off the phone, I said to him, "What ya say to Mom?" With a chuckle he replied, "I told her we enjoyed a Brazilian feast, that we are now on a bus somewhere in Brazil and having a One Direction sing-a-long." :)  I sat with an awesome young man studying to become a priest.  Andre and I even added each other on Instagram and Twitter and between by not so great Portuguese were able to have a great talk.
The afternoon was spent catching the tail end of Mass for some African pilgrims, walking around, playing on the playground equipment, and enjoying a rousing game of "Telephone" complete with both English and Portuguese words:)

After a fun afternoon at the park, we were pack at the church waiting for my host family to come get me.  Right away I felt at home in Eduardo and Adriana'a lovely home with their daughter Maria Luisa and son Dado...and the most adorable little lap dog Lola, complete with little yellow bows in her hair.  My first mission? Getting a hot shower!  I stank of travel and knew it and couldn't wait to be clean...it really is amazing what a good shower does for your morale.  After my shower, my host mama Adriana gave me a beautiful necklace with the image of Our Lady of Aparecedia; a Brazilian image of the Blessed Mother and the second largest Marian shrine in the world only after Guadalupe in Mexico.

After shower time, Adriana had set out some food which I was not opposed to as I was feeling hungry again.  Honestly it felt like a mini version of breakfast from this morning.  We spent some time getting to know each other.  They shared about their home, lives and I told them about my life back home in Michigan.  There were a few times words didn't make sense in the translation, but thankfully my host papa Eduardo had Google Translate nearby to help with any language issues!  Right away, Eduardo, Adriana, and Maria Luisa made me feel so welcome and a part of their home and even though I wasn't a whiz kid at Portuguese or they didn't know certain English sayings...we bonded our our similarities, our Catholic faith:)

That evening we went on the town in the piazza outside of the church for a beautiful Brazilian summer fiesta; we're talking more delicious food, singing, dancing, and lots of laughing!  I even learned how to samba:)  I came home (cause it already felt like home:) on cloud nine and humming new Brazilian tunes in my head as got ready for bed.

The next morning I slept in a bit and went and breakfast on the back patio with Adriana.  True to form, she had another yummy spread out for breakfast which included something sweet n' special I love called Nutella.  Eduardo joined us also, and the three of us just talked and talked, it was really so wonderful.  Eduardo told me about the political situation in South America, specifically Brazil, and how democracy is still a very new thing here.  Many Brazilians have only known very corrupt government leaders and dictators.  We talked about how Eduardo and his wife met and the lings of work.  They asked me about my husband and life back in Michigan.  We talked about the Catholic Church.  Interestingly enough, Brazil is a country where people are VERY respectful of the Church, nuns, priest's.  Even with a growing number of Evangelical churches, Catholicism is still very rooted in this country and people are fairly consistent in their practice.  Especially when we were in Rio, it was not uncommon to see regularly in restaurants people make the sign of the cross before eating and the taxi driver's are like advertisements for a local Catholic bookstore with rosaries hanging on the mirror and holy images of Jesus and Mary on the dashboard.  Eduardo also shared with me that for the most part the media in Brazil is fairly tolerant and speaks well of the Catholic Church; honestly, when I heard that I was pleasantly surprised because here in the United States that is not the case.

After a nice leisurely morning of food and relaxing, we were off to meet up with the rest of the host families and our American pilgrims for a morning prayer service.  At the prayer service, a deacon led us in some song and a bit of history behind the story of Our Lady of Aparecedia and then we prayed the Angelus together (a traditional Marian prayer).  Afterwards we headed back home, because all the other pilgrims and host families were coming over to the condo complex my family lived in for Brazilian BBQ...these people love a good party! :)
Sunday afternoon was filled with Fr. Pedro singing, more dee-lic food fruit juices, tons more dancing, and even a friendly soccer game between Brazil and USA.  Already our American pilgrims were SO touched and humbled by all the kindness these people, my Dad organized all the USA pilgrims to sing a song to our Brazilian hosts...the only one we thought everybody would know?  Take me out to the ball game:)  So we sang our little American hearts out with this slightly cheesy song, but afterwards when the people of Jacarei gave us a standing ovation, you could tell that they loved it.  I'm sure somewhere there is a video of us signing horribly off key to this well known American tune... ;)

Sunday evening we got to get our Jesus on by going to Mass, woot woot!!  All the American pilgrims got walk in with the processional and sit up front together with our host families.  To top that off, my Dad who is an ordained deacon was able to proclaim the Gospel in English to a Portuguese speaking congregation during Mass.  It was so surreal, and I know for him one of the most spiritually touching moments for him thorough out the whole pilgrimage.

I cried like a baby through the whole Mass. like. a lot. After Fr. Pedro's homily, another priest who came with us from the States who also happened to speak the language spoke words our gratefulness on behalf of all our pilgrims.  The communion hymn was "We are one body in Christ."  If at the beginning of Mass I was crying, by this point I was sobbing.  The words of the refrain took on such a new meaning for me, "We are one body, one body in Christ and we do not stand alone..." Here I was in this little parish in Brazil, not knowing a lick of Portuguese but being able to come together and worship together...and it was our worship of God as Catholic Christians that made us a family, one body in Christ.  I have been to beautiful basilica's all over Europe but nothing perhaps may ever be able to compare with the sacredness of going to Mass in this humble Brazilian church.  After communion, Fr. Pedro sang a song to honor all the American pilgrims...by this point I was handing out tissues to other people around me.  After that our dear friend Pedro from the town stod up and spoke in English (as he was cried...I'm toast when I see others cry!) how much he and all our families loved us and deeply cherished our few days together.  Then, he handed out special gift bags with things from the parish to remember our stay here.  After that, the whole church gave us a standing ovation (turn on the water works!) to honor us.  After Mass ended and the final hymn was sung, we had another 20 minutes or so of more hugs, tears, and LOTS of group pictures.

A second family...(L to R) Adriana, Maria (another American pilgrim), Eduardo, Maria Luisa, Dado, and me:)

Brazil and United States...two countries forever bonded in love and friendship <3

 Afterwards we headed out to the piazza for a final evening of dancing, yummy food, and merry making! I danced my heart out and laughed and had such a great time!  Fr. Pedro was around visiting with some of his parishioners and at one point in the evening he was chatting with my Dad, and Dad motioned me to come over.  Fr. Pedro asked me if I was having a good time and enjoyed my visit in Jacarei.  I eagerly nodded and said to him, "Fr. Pedro part of me doesn't even want to leave and head onto Rio.  Can I just stay here and watch the Pope on TV with all of you?"  He smiled and laughed a hearty laugh, and then said all of us would always be welcome in their homes, in this parish forever.
How is it that people you have only known for a few brief days can leave such a lasting impact on you?
Monday morning was up early to meet at church and catch a bus that would take us for a quick visit to the Marian shrine of Our Lady of Aparecedia and then later that evening to Rio.
Eduardo and Maria Luisa drove me to church since Adriana had to leave early for work that morning.

When we arrived at church there were tables set up and people from the parish were giving us water bottles, snacks, t-shirts, and other things as memento's from our visit here.  You could tell people were putting off their goodbye hugs as if waiting could hold off those moments just a little longer.
I hugged Maria Luisa and Eduardo goodbye and thanked them so much telling them how I loved every minute.  Eduardo called me his American daughter.  We all exchanged Facebook, Skype, and e-mail to stay in touch.
As I get on the bus all the host families were waving, cheering, and singing us farewell songs (yup you guessed it, water works went live at this point for me!).  As the bus pulled away, there were lots of tears and waving flags out the window.  I yelled out to my Brazilian papa, "See you on Skype, Papa!"
Even as we left, I still sniffled back tears for a bit longer under the coverage of my sunglasses.

I never have experienced such a welcoming spirit, love, and hospitality from people I barely knew in only just a few days ago.  These people welcomed us in and made us feel one of their own, a part of their family.  In the Bible, Jesus said "I was a stranger and you welcomed me..."; we experienced nothing less than that of the people of Jacarei from Immaculate Conception parish.
Since returning home, my Dad and I have already said we would go back and visit again...hmmm maybe Brazil road trip 2014?? ;)


And so that is why folks, a piece of my heart now will always belong to Brazil...to the awesome family and friends I have made in Jacarei:)